preacherboys

Bob Jones University President Resigns

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Sun, 02 Apr 2023 01:46:17 GMT

Dr. Steve Pettit – president of Bob Jones University – a fundamentalist college in South Carolina, resigned on March 31, 2023.

It feels like not too long ago that the bombshell report from GRACE dropped about Bob Jones University.

In 2015, after a two year investigation, the report revealed that for 40 years, numerous cases of abuse that occurred both on and off campus were mishandled by BJU leadership.

Survivors claimed that in instances which took place at the college, proper authorities were not notified – and that in many cases, survivors in counseling at BJU were blamed for bringing the abuse on themselves. The majority of the issues seemed to center around toxic teaching Bob Jones III and former Dean of Students Jim Berg – who also created the allegedly counseling materials used with the victims.

At the tail end of the investigation – May of 2014 – Dr. Steve Pettit became president of Bob Jones University.

The Greenville News reported in March 26, 2015, that he began meeting with survivors, saying sexual abuse is a heinous crime that requires abusers be brought to justice. He noted that some had been helped by loving counseling but acknowledged that others had not. He said it was apparent that the university was too focused on rules and not enough on people.

For many, statements like these – and the fact that many hardcore fundamentalists were unhappy with Pettit’s hiring – gave a glimmer of hope that Pettit could be an arbiter of change within the school, despite its rocky past.

Fast forward – and on March 31, 2023 – almost 9 years since Pettit became president of BJU – he has submitted his resignation from the school.

The resignation comes just days after Pettit wrote a letter which revealed several concerning issues relating to Dr. John Lewis, BJU’s board of trustees.

In the five page letter – which is available to read in it’s entirety along with a fantastic write up on fitsnews.com – Petite accused Lewis of holding off-site secret meetings without informing key university leadership.

Pettit says, “Although I have repeatedly urged the Chairman-both in private and before the Board to pursue unity, he has not done so and, instead, has adopted a posture of secrecy and hostility toward the Board and the administration. For example, Executive Committee meetings have been moved to Bob Jones Ill's residence. The Chairman forbade Trustees from telling the University's professional parliamentarian and longstanding corporate counsel about a meeting of the Board that had been called in February 2023. Minutes of the Executive Committee meetings often have not been timely prepared and provided to other Trustees. Contrary to University policies, sensitive Board documentation has been stored outside the University's secured network on a new computer purchased at the Chairman's instruction."

Pettit also claims that trustees were hindered or prevented from printing documents they should have had access to.

Other allegations are made, including that Lewis seemed “disinterested in the financial stability of the University,” that “poor decisions have been recently made concerning good board governance,” and that Lewis had interfered with reporting of a sexual harassment case to the school’s designated Title IX coordinator – which would be required by law.

I’ll read Pettit’s letter verbatim here.

He says, “The Chairman has taken actions in the past few weeks to thwart the Trustees' decision in February to report a matter to the University's Title IX coordinator as required by law. This followed months of ignoring, minimizing, and delaying consideration of the issue, which arose from one Trustee's alleged public comments to an alumnus in the presence of a faculty member about whether female students' clothing and female student athletes' uniforms accentuate their "boobs and butts." The alumnus' letter of complaint to the Board also alleged that the Trustee may have taken unconsented photographs of female students. I don't know if these allegations are true or not, but our obligation was (and is) to treat them the same way we would any other such allegations, and in February, the Trustees agreed to refer the matter to the Title IX coordinator. The Chairman has recently taken the following steps to impede or obstruct this investigation:

When the University's Title IX coordinator requested relevant excerpts of Board meeting minutes, the Chairman responded eight days later by providing one set of meeting minutes that were almost entirely redacted (including any relevant discussion) and an excerpt from a single Executive Committee meeting containing two relevant sentences.
He followed up on that by sending the Title IX coordinator a four-page letter plus attachments on March 17, 2023, that did the following:
Ordered the coordinator to suspend and postpone the inquiry and investigation until a later date;
Falsely accused me of working secretly with Positive BJU to weaponize the Title IX process in a coup d'etat of the Chairman;
Falsely accused the Title IX coordinator of lying to the Board;
Complained about the Notice of Formal Complaint that the coordinator had issued as required by law; and
Falsely accused the University's independent outside Title IX counsel of bias and conflict of interest.

I am not commenting on the merits or demerits of the Title IX claim. But, as the Trustees agreed in February, referring the matter to the Title IX coordinator to follow the normal course is the right (and legally required) thing to do. Impeding that process is not. The Chairman's recent actions place the University and the Board in a perilous position."

He closed the letter stating that, “If Dr. Lewis remains the Chairman or a member of the Executive Committee, Iam prepared to tender my resignation as President of Bob Jones University on March 31, 2023, to be effective immediately.”

On March 31, he did just that.

BJU released a statement saying,

“This afternoon, the BJU Board of Trustees regretfully accepted the resignation of Dr. Steve Pettit as president of Bob Jones University,” Lewis said. “The Chair and the full board voiced overwhelming support to him, but each one of us respects his decision to resign and are deeply thankful for his years of dedicated service to the mission of BJU and its faculty, staff, and students. We wish him God’s best in his future endeavors.”

No mention in the statement was made of the Pettit’s serious allegations against Lewis.

Reading all of this information, it seems Pettit was in fact trying to do the right thing at BJU – and got pushed out for doing so.

His comments regarding the Title IX reporting specifically seem to indicate that the unsafe environment reported at BJU in the early 2010’s by GRACE has not changed much whatsoever.

And with the board accepting his resignation rather than acting to enact change – it doesn’t seem that environment will be changing any time soon at BJU.

Paul Kingsbury's Texts to the Friend of an Abuse Victim

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Sun, 05 Sep 2021 01:21:46 GMT

In the wake of twenty-four alleged victims coming forward about sexual abuse and cover-up at North Love Baptist Church and its connected ministries, Pastor Paul Kingsbury has resigned.

The following text messages show how Pastor Paul Kingsbury responds to those who would be concerned about sexual abuse within his church.

The texts read as follows:

"Please consider the following Bible commentary and commandments related to sexual assault.

Scripture: Genesis 39:7-21 What MUST we do when someone makes unwanted sexual advances?

1. Joseph Refused

2. Joseph RESISTED

3. Joseph RAN.

4. Potiphars wife CRIED OUT.

See Deuteronomy 22:23-27. Look at Jn. 8 For Jesus’s application in the NT. Note also that this was before Moses received the law. Common sense and human conscience tells us that this is proper.

5. Potiphars wife had EVIDENCE. A coat.

6. Potiphars wife REPORTED the attempt the SAME DAY. She told her husband when he came home from work.

7. Potiphar Went to the POLICE! Immediately.

If someone knows to do good and does not do it then they have SINNED.

This summarizes a message I intended to bring to our church family but have not been allowed to deliver.

Summary: People accuse pastors of covering sin when they themselves did not follow the Biblical Instruction in Genesis 39.

I have two other studies on this subject. The passages and topics are as follows: 1st. Pastors are not Policemen. Go to the police immediately to report a Crime! Go to your pastor for Comfort! Study Romans 13:1-6.

2nd. What Sins ought to be covered> See 1 Peter 4:8.

Please pass this on to anyone and everyone possible! It’s time to unsheath the sword of the Word of God which is the sword of the Spirit.

I should have asked for a copy of the police report when people came with accusations. I was asked to be a detective. Never again.  If you have a car stolen who should you call? Call the police. If you have someone breaking into your home who do you call? Not your pastor. He does not bear that sword of justice. It belongs to civil authority! If you were assaulted or molested and did not report it to Gods other ministers as taught in Romans 13 your car or house is evidently more important than the well-being of your family member. Who has done the cover up?  Please distribute this as widely as possible for the truths sake!!"

*A little while later, Kingsbury sent another text*  

"Don’t bother sending it to anyone. Thanks."

What Purity Culture Didn't Teach Me

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Sun, 27 Jun 2021 03:00:43 GMT

“Interestingly, purity culture and rape culture have always had one notion in common: that a woman’s body is not her own but belongs to a man. – Tiffany Bluhm, Prey Tell

I know what you're thinking...

"Oh great, another guy offering his unsolicited takes on purity culture. Just what the world needs."

You're probably not off-base for feeling like that. The staggering amount of opinions swirling around the internet right now in the wake of the Southern Baptist Convention Annual Meeting and, especially the now-deleted Matthew West song, Modest is Hottest are exhausting.

But if you can find the patience within yourself, please hear me out, I won't be long.

I got the less painful side of purity culture. All men do. That's just the truth.

It's equally toxic (more on that in a minute), but it's less painful. The majority of the shame, extreme restrictions, and hurtful rhetoric tends to fall on the shoulders of young women. The same women, no doubt, who have been raising their voices to share their rightful hurt after watching Modest is Hottest and seeing it warmly received by many of their fellow Christians.

On the surface, it's easy to miss why purity culture and the Christian conversation is, in fact, so toxic. It began, no doubt, in the minds of well-intentioned parents and pastors. It has been shared and developed by well-intentioned Christian authors. It even had a song written about it by a well-intentioned Christian musician that has been shared by well-intentioned Christian fans.

But good intentions do not mean good results.

As they say, the road to hell is paved with them.

One could write a book on the reasons that purity culture and the church's teachings on sex and modesty misses the mark. In fact, several great books have been. I'd recommend those interested to read The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Gregoire, Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Welcher, Prey Tell by Tiffany Bluhm, or Recovering From Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by Aimee Byrd for a start.

If you're not a reader, you can watch an interview like this one with Rachel Welcher.

I won't regurgitate all the data these incredible women have aggregated and reported on the subject. Instead, I want to share my perspective as a male who was raised in purity culture.

Purity culture taught me many things.

It taught me that women were objects. That I could tell identify the worth of a woman by the length of their skirt or the cut of their blouse.

It taught me that sex was a great thing, but that I was not supposed to talk about it, think about it, or ask questions about it.

It taught me that my strong sexual appetite was natural, and that one day, I could get a woman who, fulfilling her purpose, would take care of those urges for me.

It taught me that getting married was the antidote to lust, porn, and impure thoughts.

It taught me that there would be one woman in life I could freely have sex with any time I desired, and millions of women who would actively serve little purpose but to be temptations and threats against my reputation and own purity.

It taught me that – when it came to sex – men were physical and visual, while women were emotional.

It taught me that men want to be respected, but women just want to be loved.

Purity culture also failed to teach me many things.

It didn't teach me that women were human beings who deserved to be respected.

It didn't teach me that good sex in a relationship requires communication and work.

It didn't teach me that I should learn to control my sexual urges, and not look at women as nothing but an outlet for them.

It didn't teach me that the sexual struggles I had before marriage would not be solved by marriage.

It didn't teach me that women can be just as interested in the physical and visual elements of sex, or that men could be and should experience the emotional aspects of sex.

It didn't teach me consent, respect of boundaries, or the potentiality for healthy friendships or dialogue.

It didn't teach me that women desire, need, and, most importantly, deserve my respect.

My adult journey outside of purity culture has been marked by unlearning the toxic teachings I once held as Biblical, and learning, for the first time, the proper way to view women.

I am still consciously working on rewiring my brain to think differently about all of these topics, and It makes me cringe when I see books, songs, and other Christian media contain reductionist views of women. I can't imagine how women who've bore the brunt of the negative teachings within it feel seeing these same materials.

I promised I'd keep this short, and I will. Thanks for reading at least one more opinion piece on the subject.

If you leave with only one takeaway, make it this: Purity culture – through what it's taught, and what it hasn't taught – has done immeasurable damage to many within the Church. We have a lot to learn, and being well-intentioned is not enough.

REVIEW: Prey Tell

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 19:54:34 GMT

“Interestingly, purity culture and rape culture have always had one notion in common: that a woman’s body is not her own but belongs to a man. Both cultures equate respectability with safety and assume women are culpable if defiled, because, in order to be violated, they must have strayed from patriarchal standards ensuring their protection.”

The quote above represents just one of the gut-punching passages within Prey Tell , written by Tiffany Bluhm.

The new book – releasing in March 2021 from Brazos Press – “explores the dynamics of power and lack of accountability that occur within many organizational contexts and encourages women and men to speak out in the face of unjust systems.” (Publisher’s Summary)

Prey Tell is undeniably well-researched, but it also comes from personal experience. In the opening chapter, Bluhm recounts the terror of spotting her sexual abuser in public – the person she spent so long trying to avoid entirely – as well as the racially-charged mistreatment she experienced as an adopted child from East India.

WATCH: Capitol Rioter Identified as IFB Church Bus Director

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Sun, 17 Jan 2021 21:18:16 GMT

One of the rioters who was filmed inside the Capitol building in Washington, D.C. on Wednesday has been identified as Pete Cavanaugh, the bus ministry director at Bethel Baptist Church in Walls, MS.

IFB Sermon Clips on Twitter retweeted clip, confirming the identity.

Cavanaugh's bio on Bethel Baptist's website reads: "Since graduating from Providence Baptist College in 2009, Bro Cavanaugh has served in several different ministries including: traveling with Dr. Dennis Corle and Revival Fires, starting a church in Nigeria with Missionary Mark Holmes, and traveling and serving as Camp Evangelist at Cedar River Baptist Camp. Bro. Cavanaugh joined our staff in 2017 and serves as the Bus Director, Dean of Students, and teaches the Faith Builders Sunday school class. He is married to Leah, and they have three boys – Marcus, James and Nicholas."

It is notable that the founder and president of Providence Baptist College, has a history of inflammatory political rhetoric.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation's (FBI) Washington Field Office is seeking the public's assistance in identifying individuals who made unlawful entry into the United States Capitol Building on January 6, 2021, in Washington, D.C. https://www.fbi.gov/wanted/seeking-info/violence-at-the-united-states-capitol

Anyone with information regarding these individuals, or anyone who witnessed any unlawful violent actions at the Capitol or near the area, is asked to contact the FBI's Toll-Free Tipline at 1-800-CALL-FBI (1-800-225-5324) to verbally report tips. You may also submit any information, photos, or videos that could be relevant online at fbi.gov/USCapitol . You may also contact your local FBI office or the nearest American Embassy or Consulate .

Avoid Echo Chambers

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Tue, 15 Dec 2020 00:16:03 GMT

Earnest, open dialogue is vital to having a healthy worldview and healthy relationships. This includes those who might disagree with you.

On my podcast, Preacher Boys, I’ve had a diverse roster of guests on the show. Religious deconstructionists, therapists, trauma specialists, pastors, law enforcement, and a host of others have sat across from me with a microphone to engage in conversation.

Each time I have a guest on any part of the spectrum regarding a specific topic, it is inevitable that someone from an opposing faction expresses their frustration or vehement disapproval of my hosting them on the show.

Human beings are, by nature, very tribal – often aggressively so.

In religious circles, especially, we frequently emphasize that we are “always to have an answer.”

While understanding our positions and being ready to explain them is undoubtedly essential, we mustn’t forget the humanity on the other side of the conversation. We must share the truth passionately while never sacrificing empathy.

By dialoguing with others, we can better understand their perspective and see more nuance in our viewpoints. Hold dialogues with people, honestly, with the intent to listen, to hear, and then also share openly from where you believe.

There is an extreme danger in building an elaborate echo chamber around ourselves. We cannot fear hearing other voices. The truth is always going to rise to the top. It has nowhere to hide.

Avoid being a default fundamentalist.

Avoid finding yourself in a position where only you can be right; only you can have the answer; only you are a hundred percent accurate in everything that you believe. There's always something we can learn from a conversation. At the very least, we can walk away with a renewed sense of empathy for someone different than ourselves.

Update Regarding North Valley Baptist Church Protest

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Thu, 03 Dec 2020 22:49:27 GMT

As most of you have seen, I had planned to lead a peaceful gathering of survivors at North Valley Baptist Church in Santa Clara, CA. The event was scheduled for January.

After an immense amount of time and thought weighing it out, I’m making the decision to cancel the event.

Sincerely, I can say that the motivation behind the event was a positive one. I know the motivation of those attending was also positive.

The goal of the rally - like everything I do with the Preacher Boys Podcast - is to try to shed light on abuse, give a voice to survivors, and spark helpful conversations. My reason for cancelling comes from that same place.

While there are extremely valid arguments that need to be made, and discussions about NVBC and other fundamentalist institutions that need to be had, I don’t feel comfortable about this particular forum for a few reasons.

1. Context is a crucial element for productive conversations.

I try to be very careful not to place myself or others in situations where words can be taken out of context, misconstrued, or ideas can be misrepresented.

I do not feel comfortable with the fact that anyone could take a picture of the peaceful gathering and position it as a riot, bitter people screaming at NVBC attendees, or people who hate church on some vendetta.

Not one of these things are true, and I don’t want to give people the chance to say that they are.

2. Optics matter.

I have been accused of attacking the Church at large, as well as Christianity and local churches broadly.

The reality is, I am a strong believer myself. As such, I unashamedly love my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Church. I'm thankful for the reality of the Gospel and the truth of God's Word.

As I mentioned in the first point, I don't wish to give others the opportunity to say that this is a full-fledged attack on the Christian religion in it's entirety. Nor do I want to give the signal to pastors that I am going to show up on their sidewalk with a picket sign the minute there is a disagreement.

There are people within North Valley Baptist Church and congregants and staff in churches like it who are reaching out for help and guidance, many on the brink of leaving and finding healthier ministries.

I don’t want to put those good transitions in jeopardy by giving the vibe that we are exactly how we will be inevitably presented to be. I don’t want to confirm isn’t the minds of those in the congregation that my goal is to persecute the Church at large. My goal is to help good people get out of bad situations.

3. COVID restrictions.
COVID rates are on the rise in California right now, and even many within my family have contracted the virus. I also recently lost someone due to the disease. I don’t want to put risk on anyone, and also, want to respect the current mandates and CDC recommendations.

Conclusion

I feel like the potential cons of this largely outweigh any potential positive. For the sake of the cause at large, I need to take precautions to be - for lack of a better term - above reproach. I still want to project the truth as loudly as possible, but I want to do it in a way that is defensible against scrutiny or misrepresentation. For that reason, I don’t feel comfortable attaching the protest to the Preacher Boys Podcast at this time.

I know that there might be disagreement with me, but I truly feel this is the best decision.

Fan Mail for a Predatory Pastor | Letters Supporting Jack Schaap

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Sat, 17 Oct 2020 16:52:55 GMT

TRIGGER WARNING: This article references instances of sexual assault involving minors, and reveals disturbing accounts of victim-blaming and gaslighting.

In 2013, Jack Schaap, 62, pleaded guilty to taking a 16-year-old girl he was counseling at First Baptist across state lines for sex. He used his position as a spiritual leader to force her into a sexual relationship. He texted her over 600 times, telling her that this was "exactly what Christ desires for us." The ongoing rapes continued, even in his office during a youth conference. (Source: https://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/The-312/March-2013/The-top-five-revolting-x-from-the-latest-prosecutor-filing-in-the-Jack-Schaap-case/ )

Jack's guilty plea apparently wasn't enough to lose the favor of his devoted followers.

140 letters – written by family, staff, and parishioners – were submitted as exhibits to be reviewed by the judge as he carried out sentencing. They pleaded for lenient sentencing.

I have recently acquired these documents, which may be downloaded in their entirety here.

The statements made in these 140 separate letters paint a chilling picture of the cult mentality that was so clear within the First Baptist Church of Hammond.

This article features some of the strangest statements from the first 82 exhibits that were entered.

For sake of brevity, I have selected only a sentence or two from each letter – some of which were 4-5 pages long originally.

Keep in mind that there were 140 letters attached to the document, so there were an additional 58 letters from parishioners that aren't included in this list.

As you read, look for patterns in statements, groupthink, and much in the way of victim shaming and defense of the abuser.

Jack Schaap's Family Members

My request to you, Judge Lozano, is that you would be lenient in sentencing my husband. My husband has made a tragic mistake during a crisis time in his life. – Cindy Schaap (Jack's Wife)
Editors note: Cindy has since divorced Schaap and is now remarried, she is reportedly writing a book about her experience within the IFB.
I simply ask that his 54+ years of being a very moral, compassionate, and just man as you contemplate what to do in his sentencing. – Ken Schaap (Jack's Son) Editors note: Ken has since left the IFB movement and has spoken about this issue publicly on the Recovering Fundamentalist Podcast .
He has always been my hero and my friend, and though I understand that people can let you down, I owe him everything for the things he has done for me and the virtues he has taught me. – Jaclynn Weber (Jack's Daughter)
In recent years, Jack has been under much stress due to finances, heavy counseling, and other physical problems. I also believe his body is lacking chemicals necessary to function properly. I don't feel like his decisions of recent months represent who he is. His doctor has prescribed lithium for him and now he is doing much better... thinking much more clearly. – Marlene Schaap (Jack's Mother)
If Jack is sentenced to serve his entire time of incarceration, I feel it will be harder for a complete restoration to take place. The family units are broken right now, and the isolation will greatly affect the children and grandchildren that Jack and his wife have. The solidity of family will have a greater effect than the isolation of a once honest, obedient loving man. Please consider the value of a solid family unit versus a broken family when making your final sentencing. – Kristi Lemmon (Jack's Sister)
I know there are those who are trying to discredit him, but please realize that the attackers hate the Christianity, morality, and decency that he stood for. Any name could replace Jack Schaap's name in this situation and they would say the same vile things about them. They hate the cause he stood for, not this specific offense. Jack Schaap just gave them the opportunity they sought to discredit what is called Fundamental Christianity. – Robert L. Hooker (Ken Schaap's Father-In-Law)
I am requesting, begging, pleading that the Court be lenient in its sentence, please please please. I still believe in Jack Schaap's integrity and that he is not one the Court will ever have to worry about making this kind of mistake again. (Jo Beth Hooker (Ken Schaap's Mother-in-Law)
I believe there are many factors that play into his recent actions. Our ministry was financially strained; there were lay-offs two years ago that he had to enact; his high-profile position as a mega-church pastor opened him up to heavy scrutiny and pressure, and I personally believe that pressure was too great. I ask the court to be lenient in its sentence. – Todd Weber (Jack's Son-In-Law)

Church/College Faculty & Staff

I ask for leniency in determining Jack's sentence. He has spared all affected parties much grief and shame by offering this plea. I ask that you also take into account his many years of faithful service to his church and this community. Jack and his family have lost much as a result of his actions. – Stuart Mason (President)
I still have the same high opinion of Mr. Schaap which I have always had for more than three decades. – Wendell Evans (President Emeritus)
Without trying to minimize the seriousness of his recent crimes I would like to ask the court to consider the fact that he had been a contributing member of society for many years. Hopefully he will be able to return to that role after having served the appropriate amount of time in incarceration. – Ray Young (Vince Chancellor)
There are a lot of people that do not like our church and our religion that want him to pay for the bitterness that they feel about events or policies that are un-related to this case. While Schaap has committed a heinous crime, he has not always been this way. I do not believe that he deserves to serve a sentence beyond the minimum 10 years in jail. – Thomas J. Vogel (Superintendent of Education, Hammond Baptist Schools)
I attribute my approach to marriage and child rearing and ministry and civic duty to his continued influence of nearly 30 years. – Dr. Bob Marshall (Director of Hammond Initiative)
Many people slip and make mistakes in their lives. I'm sorry it had to be Bro. Schaap. – Jerry Smith (Faculty, HAC)
Brother Schaap's character is impeccable. – Doris M. Smith (Teacher)
I do not think that an extended jail sentence is necessary to further punish him, nor to make him realize he was wrong. He already knows that. He has been humiliated and penalized tremendously already in the court of public opinion. With the internet, he and his offense will be known wherever he goes for the rest of his life. Please allow him to continue his life with his wife and family. – James Jorgensen (Retired Administrator, HAC)
... this was not an affair that had gone on in secret for many years. In fact, they really got close to each other (unbeknownst to me at the time) within a timeframe of about two to three weeks. It is bizarre to me that 37 years of an incredible career and wonderful reputation could be traded within two to three weeks. Jack Mitchell (Executive Assistant, FBC Hammond)
I personally believe the pressure under which he lived would break anyone in one way or another.– Jean Sheaffer (Church Secretary)
I feel that Jack Schaap has fallen prey to an act that many have fallen to. That many have seen no way out of. That many will fall to again, and that many have no one to turn to to know how to deal with it. That act is the act of loving too deeply. I know that Jack Schaap is not a predator of little girls as some might try to portray him. He is not a monster that needs to be locked up in a cage and the key thrown away. He is a man that loved a girl deeply in a desperate time for them both. – Steven McGraw (Chief of Security, FBC Hammond)
Someone of long ago once said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone." I believe Mr. Schaap is hurting a thousand times over for the mistake he has made. – Bruce D. Campbell (Staff Member)
In my opinion, Jack Schaap has always held a high personal standard of moral excellence, honesty, integrity, and a strong work ethic. – Lorinda Campbell (Sunday School Teacher)
The sin he committed does not define or describe the man I have known for the past twenty years. – Mrs. Linda Boyd
Jack Schaap was always very open about his life. We all have respected him so much because we could see right through him. – Holly Doring (Former Admissions, Dept.)
May I say, in my opinion, he has paid plenty for what he's done. - David Jorgensen (Publications Department)

Editor's Note: This is an ironic one, because David Jorgensen himself would later be discovered to be a pedophile: READ: Pleasant Valley Baptist Church is also being sued in local court for a 2002 incident where then-teacher and associate pastor David Joseph Jorgensen committed lewd acts on a female student when she was 14.

According to the anonymous plaintiff’s complaint, Jorgensen initiated inappropriate contact on her 14th birthday in April 2002. She claims he exploited her immaturity and abused his position of authority at the church to take advantage of her.

Jorgensen pleaded no contest in May 2003 to two felony counts of committing lewd acts upon a child, according to online court records. After he completed probation, he sought to have the crimes reduced to misdemeanors and had his record expunged in September 2006.

The victim is suing the church and [senior pastor] Tim Ruhl for being negligent in hiring and supervising Jorgensen. She also claims that Ruhl failed to report Jorgensen’s actions when she told him about it. The woman also alleges that Ruhl retaliated against her by expelling her six months before graduating high school and later claiming she was having a child out of wedlock.

According to Baumbach, when the allegations first came to light, the woman was forced to repeat her claims in a meeting with Ruhl and Jorgensen. Jorgensen denied the claims and accused her of lying.

Eventually, the woman’s mother had her take a polygraph, which she reportedly passed.

According to a deposition of Ruhl, Ruhl said he confronted Jorgensen after the mother reported the results. Jorgensen admitted to the allegations and was terminated. (Source: Chico ER)

He has always impressed us as a most law-abiding citizen who encouraged others to follow the law, also. – Mike Fish (Faculty Member)
I believe that his expressions of remorse are sincere. – Rena Fish (Faculty Member)
He has helped many more people than he has hurt and his positive influence will continue in the lives of hundreds of thousands of people all around the world who are better people because of Jack Schaap. – Anthony Collins (Administrator)
I have known Jack Schaap to be one of the most sincere, generous, compassionate, and productive individuals to have ever occupied my experience. And, in spite of his troublesome offense, I am of the same opinion still. – David Lutz (Faculty Member, HAC)
Looking at the big picture of Jack Schaap's life and all the thousands of people he has loved and helped, I do not believe that the man, Jack Schaap, deserves anything more the minimal sentencing from the courts, due to the recent conviction. – Zana Reichen (Secretary)
If you know Jack Schaap, you know you have a friend for life, and I greatly desire my children and future grandchildren to get to know the friend my husband and I so deeply love. – Valerie L. Morales (Assistant to Cindy Schaap)
The estimation of a man's life, however, should never be measured by one grave error. –Dave McCroskey (Assistant to Ken Schaap)
He is not a threat to society and not likely to be a repeat offender. – Robert Weer (Deacon)
One of his favorite sayings was, "God's business is the greatest business in all the world." He truly believed it and loved it. – John Nocito (Deacon)
I do not believe this crime characterizes Jack Schaap. – Chip Dowdey (Teacher, Hammond Baptist Schools)
I understand the nature of the crime, yet I request the Court to be lenient in sentencing Jack Schaap due to the impeccable character he has demonstrated through many decades. – Dianne Dowdey (Reading Center, Hammond Baptist Schools)
We were totally shocked by Bro. Schaap's sin and could only conclude that Bro. Schaap had had some type of mental and emotional breakdown. – Paul & Barbara Burke (Deacon)
His book, How to Resist Temptation, helped me going through college and I have even taught a few lessons to others from it myself because it was such a help to me. – Robert Osgood (Resident Hall Director, HAC)
I think that this was a horrible mistake he made in a weak moment. – Esther Osgood (Secretary)
We believe his character level will rebound his life to useful service for others once again. – Joseph & Jeanne Hackett (Visual Arts Specialist & Faculty)
He is an honest man, a good man, a generous man, a compassionate man, a godly man, and a family man. – Joe Wittig (Vol. Bus Route)
What Jack Schaap did with that girl recently was totally out of character for him. – Linda Wittig (Faculty Member)
An investigation by Attorney David Gibbs conducted for our church has revealed no other inappropriate contact with a minor. – Luke Lukehoff (Sunday School Teacher)
The public good would not be best served by keeping this man in jail for an inappropriate length of time. – Cherlyn Lukenoff (Finance Office)
Jack Schaap is a very diligent and hard worker at getting things done, as is evidenced by our new auditorium and the many added ministries of outreach to our community. – Tim & Tory Sullivan (Bus Route Driver/Sunday School Teacher)
I, William Jastreboski, think so highly of Jack Schaap that I asked him to be the best man at my wedding and he accepted. – William Jastreboski (Vol. Bus Route)
In my opinion, the court would do well to be lenient as possible for the greater good that could yet be accomplished through Pastor Schaap's vision of a world made better through the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. – Johnny D. Colsten (Assistant Pastor)
Jack Schaap would go to the children Sunday School classes and have pictures taken with the children that read their Bible verses. He loves FBC Hammond and his heart is there. – Daniel & Hazel Morris (Sunday School Teacher)
I know Jack Schaap trusted Christ as his savior when he was 5 years old. He has lived his life well helping many others to change course and live respected lives. – Phil Stuart Collins (Buildings Manager)
Mr. Schaap has done much to make our community, and this world, a better place. – Brittany Paugh (Dir. Little Learners)

Editors Note: Brittany has redacted this statement and has offered the following statement: When everything happened with Schaap in 2012 I was working for the ministry and was considered a "Department Head" because I was the Executive Director for the two Daycare Centers the church had at the time. My husband at the time was also working for their mission board, FBMI. We were told so many different variations of what was happening/had happened in the first few weeks it was nearly impossible to navigate. Add to that the interviews/investigations with the FBI, IRS, and numerous attorneys. I felt like I was living a nightmare (I actually still go to therapy for PTSD from my time there and the events that unfolded). Anyway, the "Pastoral Staff" and Deacon board put pressure on us constantly to support Jack, or if we couldn't do that to AT LEAST support Cindy. I put off writing a letter for weeks because I honestly couldn't stand Jack and was glad he was gone. But Cindy was devastated and 2 days before the hearing (where he ended up pleading guilty) I was given a paper pleading for a character reference and to request leniency in his sentencing. They said that without these letters he would get 25yrs-life. My heart was broken for Cindy and her kids and grandkids. At this point Jack was insisting he had been framed (I didn't believe that for a second), but his family truly believed, and thus led us to believe, that this had been a completely consensual affair and said that the girl was even going to testify stating the same thing. I was so conflicted. If this was truly an affair should he really be in prison for life? So against my better judgement I typed up a general letter, called Cindy and got the attorneys info, and sent it. When Jack pleaded guilty and they released the information surrounding his "affair" (abuse & manipulation) of this girl I was sick. I called the attorney's office and insisted they withdraw my letter. They told me it was too late and wouldn't confirm if they would even use my letter. I was beyond livid as well as completely devastated. I've never prayed so hard in my life that God would punish someone. Thankfully Jack still went to prison, but I've forever regretted the decision to "help". I felt so betrayed and manipulated and realized and it set into motion a very traumatic chain of events over the next 4 years that I wouldn't want to relive, but that I wouldn't change either. Because of those events my eyes were fully opened to how this type of abuse is so easily continued in the IFB movement as well as it's many false teachings.
I also firmly believe that his wrong doing was a lapse in judgement and not indicative of his lifelong character.– Mike Ortiz (Teacher)
Globally, he has helped our church increase our missions giving, and spearheaded the idea and formation of team missions, that is still active and reaching many hundreds around the world. – Darin & Jennifer Scudder (Employees)
As a student under his teaching I saw his concern for others. – Jarrell Price (Vol. Bus Route
He has a charismatic personality and was liked by the businessmen of our community and by pastos and churches around the world. – Karen Kalapp (Secretary)
The last conversation I had with Jack Schaap, your Honor, was by phone; he was very remorseful for the actions he had done. – Danny Brannon (Asst. Pastor)
...what has happened in the incident to which Jack has confessed is a single blight on his character. – Darrell Moore (Missions Pastor)
After speaking at a Bible conference four or five years ago, he gave me a very nice suit. A year ago, he gave me a $100 Visa gift card at the beginning of each school year. – Philip Pins (Faculty Member)
I am grieved over this current situation, and can only believe that the stress of his work and/or health issues must be the cause. – Joyce Pins (Faculty Member)
Allow Jack Schaap to be reunited to his wife where they can begin the healing process and mend their marriage and salvage the remaining years of life together. – Ronald Moore (Deacon)
The Bible tells a story of a woman caught in adultery and Jesus' words to her accusers were this, "Ye without sin, cast the first stone at her." – David W. Velickoff (Employee)
He is a sinful human just like you and me. Given the right situation in life, we could each make a blunder that would ruin our good names. – Holly Velickoff (Switchboard Operator)
Brother Schaap had tremendous character and restraint. – Tim & Bonnee Reay (Deacon, Vol. Bus Worker)
My oldest two daughters babysit his grandchildren and were around him numerous times without anything inappropriate. – Trina Reynolds (Employee)
Please consider the millions he has helped. – Jary Storm (Secretary)
I'm not asking you to dismiss his crime. I am asking you to consider his over 30 years of good service in sentencing. Danny Clubb, Jr. (Faculty Member)
I still consider him a sincere, dedicated, compassionate, and sacrificial human being. – Bill Flowers (Employee)

Clergy & Missionaries

... it is doubtful that there is any punishment which could be inflicted by man that could equal the agonizing pain of the guilt, shame, dishonor, losses, and regrets already inflicted upon his conscience by the Spirit of God – Jim Binney (Pastor – Unnamed Church)
I still consider him to be a good man as I cannot write off a life of such good based on one incident. – Daniel Gross (Assistant Pastor, Montecito Baptist Church, California)
I do not excuse the wrong done, but also do not forget the many "rights" done. – Bruce Goddard (Pastor, Faith Baptist Church, California)

Editor's Note: Bruce Goddard is no stranger to covering for sexual abuse. He has had numerous cases within his Wildomar-based church. READ: https://www.preacherboysdoc.com/faith-baptist-church-of-wildomar-a-safe-haven-for-abusers
Any man, at the wrong place, at the wrong time, would do the wrong thing, and he did. – Leonard Ludwick (Pastor, Old Time Baptist Church, West Virginia)
Granted, this one "chapter" of his life is not a pretty one, but I believe that his life as a whole is worthy of your consideration of a more lenient sentence. – Rick Finley (Pastor, Fellowship Baptist Church, North Carolina)
I believe that Jack was under too great of pressure to succeed. – Bryan Miller (Pastor, Somerset Bible Baptist Church, New Jersey)
Even the thought of being incarcerated for the final years of my life would be heart-breaking torture. My prayer is that my old friend, Jack, will not have to spend his last years in that situation. – Johnny Pope (Pastor, ChristChurch Baptist Fellowship)
I also believe that he still wants to please the Lord with his life, though he made some grievous errors. – Charles Osgood (Missionary, Ghana, West Africa)
It is my professional opinion that one contributing factor in Jack Schaap's fall from his own standard was how much selfless giving of himself and how little care for himself he practiced for more than ten years. – Jonathan Bratton (Pastor, Unnamed Church)
I realize that this could happen to any of us, whether we are a person in authority or not. – Dave Barna (Pastor, Calvary Baptist Church, Wisconsin)
I have never hurt so much for a friend as I have for Jack, because no man has done so much good in his good days as Jack has done. He is like a high performance Indy car that hit the wall. Those cars are too valuable to ever be totaled. They always rebuild them. I believe that Jack is worth rebuilding. – Zane Abberger (Pastor, Unnamed Church, Michigan)
Unfortunately, there are mean-spirited people with ulterior motives who would like to use this one, horrible mistake to forever tarnish everything Jack has ever done. – Geronimo Aguilar (Pastor, Richmond Outreach Center, Virginia)
Jack Schaap is an honest, sincere, caring, self-sacrificing, hardworking, friendly man. – Joe Vassak (Pastor, Northeast Baptist Church, Connecticut)
Punishment is deserved but we are asking that the court be lenient in its sentence. – Rachel White (Missionary, Ghana, West Africa)
Dr. Schaap conducted my ordination service and signed my certificate of ordination; that piece of paper is still precious to me. – Michael Sarver (Missionary, Ghana, West Africa)

What were your main takeaways from this list? Were there any names listed that particularly surprised you? Leave a comment below.

David Hyles' Newest Scandal: A Secret Year-Long Affair

Mon, 12 Oct 2020 22:52:29 GMT

EDITOR'S NOTE: The information in this article was made available by Jonathan Grisham Burchfield, creator of Stop Pastoral Abuse. ( https://www.facebook.com/stoppingpastoralabuse )

TRIGGER WARNING: The following article contains descriptions as of sexual, and mental abuse toward minors, and one photographic piece of evidence of child abuse and neglect.

Abusers never change.

That’s a strong statement to make, but time and again, we see shocking, tragic proof of it.

The shining example of an unrepentant, unchanging abuser is David Hyles.

In the 1970’s, David Hyles groomed 14 year old Joy Evans Ryder. He raped her at 15. This rape was covered up by the leadership at Hyles-Anderson College - under Jack Hyle’s leadership. (Source: https://www.preacherboysdoc.com/ryder-v-hyles)

Soon after, somebody at Hyles’s church discovered porn magazines containing ads for group sex which, they reportedly claimed, featured photos of Hyles having sex with church member Brenda Stevens (by some accounts, the daughter of a deacon). A story soon surfaced that Hyles had had extramarital sex with some 19 female members of the church. (Source: https://brucegerencser.net/2015/02/updated-serial-adulterer-david-hyles-restored/)

In 1985, David, whose wife divorced him, later lived with Brenda Stevens and was charged in abusing her year-old son, Brent. Brent was found dead in his crib at the age of 15 months. At the coroner's inquest in 1985, Brenda was a no-show, while David Hyles pleaded the Fifth Amendment. David and Brenda Hyles later conceived a son, and named him Jack David Hyles. In March of 1999, Brenda Hyles ran him over with the family car, killing the 5-year-old boy. Brenda claimed that Jack David had fallen out of the car and she could not avoid running over him (3/25/99, St. Petersburg Times).]

Since then, David has done what abusers often do - he has rebranded himself. Now, he is something of a self-help guru for the abusive underbelly of the Independent Baptist Movement. He works to restore pastors who have “fallen.” “Fallen” seems like a strange word to describe rapists, pedophiles, and other criminals - but one would be lying if they said anything about David and his deceitful, checkered history was “normal.”

Aside from some recent posts showcasing unsavory connections with Pastors like Jack Hyles sycophants like Bob Gray, Sr. as well as some vague references to “restoration” and “forgiveness” posted from his wife’s account - there hasn’t been much breaking news about David - until now.

On Sunday, October 11, 2020, Jonathan Grisham Burchfield of Stop Pastoral Abuse received messages from a woman in her young twenties, who alleged an online relationship with the now 67 year old David Hyles.

He would contact her from a variety of accounts, using aliases like David Jaxson and David Miller.

He made claims that his wife had passed away. This information is not true.

When reading the messages, Hyles acts as you would expect - some messages referencing meetings he was preparing to speak at, while others are purely sexual in nature.

“I will shut my door and we can masturbate together… hehehehe,” David wrote.

Her response, “And there’s allowed there at your office?”

David’s personality shines through yet again, “I am the boss.” “I can do what I want.”

Among the myriad of messages that reflect a long running, deceitful and manipulative relationship are dozens of selfies from David Hyles. Pictures that she would be unlikely to possess unless truly sent by him.

It's important to recognize that, simultaneously to manipulating this young woman, he was financing himself off of the backs of churches. A true charlatan, using ministries, church members, and every other person in his life as pawns to his advantage.

Is this particular situation illegal? No. But it’s a reflection of his moral character and his uncanny ability to lie without remorse or without consideration of impact it will have on the lives he toys with.

"Treatment Shouldn't Leave Survivors" | Reflecting on Paris Hilton's Peaceful Protest in Provo, Utah

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 18:45:56 GMT

"Treatment shouldn’t leave a community of survivors."

With that simple yet impactful statement, Craig Blake - an attorney with Utah's Disability Law Center - drove home the entire purpose of the protest I found myself standing in the middle of on Friday, October 9th.

Rather watch than read? Check out the video version of this blog post:

On my show, Preacher Boys, I have been doing many episodes about the troubled teen industry .

When the documentary, This is Paris , came out - detailing Paris’ abuse at the hands of the Troubled Teen Industry, I knew I had to watch and discuss it.

Once I posted my episode on the subject, Paris reached out to me directly.

She filled me in on upcoming plans to combat the TTI, and then let me know that there would be a protest very soon in Provo, Utah.

It was an honor to join nearly one hundred survivors of the troubled teen industry, and it was incredible seeing firsthand how incredibly supportive this community is.

I live in Vegas, about 6 hours from Utah. I left in the morning and drove straight to our meeting point – a park in Provo – about a mile from Provo Canyon School, the last troubled teen program that Paris attended.

At the beginning of the gathering, we heard speeches from the team at Breaking Code Silence , a nonprofit working to expose abuse in the TTI.

I was also able to hear from a representative from Charlie Health – an organization that provides personalized mental health treatment for teens, young adults, and families.

One other standout for me was Allen Knoll, whom I was also able to meet personally. He is the author of Surviving Bethel , which is currently available on Amazon.

The most powerful moment of the day came as I stood in the park, surrounded by one hundred survivors, and the director of Breaking Code Silence began asking questions.

"If you were forcibly removed from your home, raise your hand."

"If you were physically abused, raise your hand."

"If you were sexually abused, raise your hand."

"If you weren't allowed to communicate with your parents, raise your hand."

"If you know someone who died in one of these homes, raise your hand."

"If you know someone who died due to depression from being in one of these homes, raise your hand."

Even though there were people from California, Utah, Nevada, Texas – and several other states, hands were going up for each abuse mentioned.

Not just one or two. With every question, a majority of this group raised their hand.

The reality was, although this group was incredibly diverse – their experiences were not.

My mind kept circling back to the statement from Craig Blake I cited earlier – "Treatment shouldn't leave a community of survivors."

If these homes were doing their job, there would have been a hundred people out there celebrating.

Families reunited.

Addictions conquered.

Lives changed.

But instead, it was people who overcame and succeeded in life despite these schools.

Those thoughts stayed with me as we began a silent, peaceful march.

We marched in front of the gated Provo Canyon School. A single security truck sat in front of the entrance. There was eerily not a child in sight.

As we circled back around to the park, we heard powerful testimonies from the people who had survived these homes.

As the event drew near a close, I spent time talking with many of these incredible people personally.

I got to meet recent Preacher Boys guest Hannah Kay – who has been an outspoken advocate against the TTI, amassing nearly 60k TikTok followers on her account, @hwy89survival .

And then, of course, I met Paris Hilton.

I have to say, she's one of the most down to earth people that I've ever met. When someone has as high a level of success and platform as she does – or even far less so – you can expect some sense of arrogance or pride – I felt none of that with her. She was incredibly approachable, kind, and made time for every single person who approached her.

Talking to Paris, I didn't feel like I was talking to a celebrity – I talked to a survivor who found her voice and was leading the charge for change. The same way I feel talking to incredible women and advocates like Amanda Householder and Hannah Kay.

It's clear she's taking this very seriously, and I'm very excited to see how I can continue to help raise the alarm a little alongside her and Breaking Code Silence.

Rachel Peach (Pt. 3) | How a Survivor Became an Advocate

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Mon, 28 Sep 2020 06:16:03 GMT

The following is a transcription of Part 3 of my interview with survivor Rachel Peach. If you'd prefer to watch, you can do so below:

***Trigger warning. This podcast contains description of various abusive situations. Listener discretion is advised. You are listening to the Preacher Boys Podcast, a Podcast shedding light on decades of mental, physical, and sexual abuse within the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement. The testimony shared on this podcast are told from the personal experience and perspective of the survivors. Not all legal outcomes are known or final, and the suspect is presumed innocent until proven guilty in the court of law. To find more information about the Preacher Boys Podcast and upcoming documentary visit preacherboysdoc.com or connect on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter with the handle @preacherboysdoc. Now here's your host, Eric Skwarczynski.***

Eric: Hey guys, thank you so much for tuning into this episode the Preacher Boys Podcast. This is part 3 of my interview with Rachel Peach, If you haven’t listened to the first two episodes, you can find those right now wherever you’re listening and be sure to check those out. Just you you have some contact for this final episode.

On this episode, we’re going to talk about Rachel’s incredible work advocating for other survivors of abuse within the Independent Baptist movement. It’s a powerful segment, it leaves on an incredibly high note. And like I said, at the beginning, when we first started these episodes, you’re going to walk away from this with an incredible amount of respect for Rachel. She's an incredible, incredible human being and I think that the story she shared is powerful and deserves to be heard by everybody, Independent Baptist or not. As just a story of strength, courage, and advocacy for others who need help. So listen to this entire episode and be sure to share it with someone who could take a benefit from it. Thank you guys, I’ll see you at the end of the episode.

Eric: So I don't want you to have to go to nuts and bolts in the trial side.

Rachel: There was no trial, he just pled guilty.

Eric: Okay, Did you…

Rachel: But I did go to court.

Eric: Okay, okay, so you did testify and shared.

Rachel: All I did, I gave my victim impact statement at sentencing. I mean, even those few months leading up to that. That was just a whirlwind to go from nobody knowing, to one person knowing which was huge, to a handful of people knowing. And then there I thought about it, I, and all of us thought about it, we wanted to be the ones to tell our story. And so myself and the, April, and the other survivor that came forward, we told our stories on Facebook, the weekend after, or the day after he was arrested. And it all just kind of happened very, very quickly. That you go from nobody knowing, to thousands of people knowing in a matter of weeks. And, you’re still kind of processing what even happened and still learning about what even happened. And, it was also that time, I mean, I remember, the night that he was arrested and my detective was going to warn me that there was going to be a press release. And I remember thinking, “this isn’t going to be on the news, is it?” And he was like, “eh, well we are near LA County, it might get big and but you don’t need to worry about it, like it’s fine.” And I’m like, “yeah, its not going to be a big deal.” And within 48 hours, it was on every major news network in Southern California.

And that was just a lot to take in. And also, at that time I had filed a lawsuit against my church. And some of the news networks accessed my lawsuit and even used my name without my permission. With details of my abuse in different news stations. Things, that I haven’t even been able to tell my husband the extent of it, and he’s learning it on the news. Like it was bad, and no one, I mean, there’s no manual on how to deal with this. And, seeing your abusers mugshot all over the news and your name attached to it with details of your abuse. Yeah, that was not expected and that was very difficult, but now I know.

Eric: Yeah, I know we're getting near the end, but I'm curious. Giving your victim impact statement, like, what was the emotion you felt at that point? Because obviously, now, you’re ending this chat like that, that’s a very formal ending of this chapter. Of this horrible, I mean, years of trauma, what did you feel at that moment? Being able to like, actually look him in the eyes and say, “this is what happened, this is what you really did.”

Rachel: I worked on it for a long time, because I knew, this is it. This is my only chance to say anything. And, as I wanted him to know how much he hurt me. I also wanted the church to know how much they hurt me and their reaction or lack thereof, was extremely hurtful as well. And, I also, I felt like I needed to show because there was a lot of girls that did not speak up. There was seven of us that came forward to the police, there was three of us that pressed charges, and there was probably 20 more that either opened up to me or opened up to April, but said they don’t want to get involved. And, that was really hard to process, that like, he was only sentenced to five in prison and he’s up for parole in April. And, knowing just how bad it really was, but on paper it only showed three victims, only, but one is worse enough.

Eric: But, even that you would expect more than five years, yeah.

Rachel: Exactly, but I felt like I needed to show them. I know we’re broken, I know that he hurt us, and we’re still processing this, but he can’t control it anymore. And, so I did feel like I needed to be strong and to show them, and everybody else, that you could be broken bu you can build yourself up again. And, it’s possible and so, I mean, I was very proud of my impact statement and God really did help me give, give me the strength.

And it’s funny because, when we were sitting in there waiting for the judge to come in and stuff, our detective walked over and he says, “Hey girls, I moved the podium over there so that you don’t have to look at him, so you can face over here, the judge, so you don’t have to see him when he comes in.” And all of us like looked at each other and looked back at him, we’re like, “Why?” He was like, “you don’t want to look at him, do you?” We we’re like, “Ah, no, we want him to look in our eyes and see exactly what he did.” And he was like, “Oh, okay, I’ll go fix it.” And I mean, it was one of the most beautiful things and heartbreaking things all at the same time. To just watch these girls go up there and talk about what he put us through, but know that justice is happening right now, as we’re speaking. And, I, from where I was standing, his attorney did stand directly in front of him, so that we won’t, he won’t have to see us. Which was a very cowardly move in my opinion.

And, but family members from the other side, so that the entire time we were giving our impact statements, he was either laughing or shaking his head in disagreement. And I don’t really understand that. Like, you literally admitted it, there was nothing funny anymore happening. And, even when the judge asked him, “Is there anything you know for, you want to say to the victims and their families?” And he said, “No.” He didn’t want to say anything. And it, that was I think hard because I think I was expecting to see remorse after everything that’s happened, and that did not happen. Instead, he’s laughing and shaking his head, as we talk about the traumatic things that he put us through as kids. And, yeah, that was very difficult to see but I walked out, and he didn’t.

Eric: Right, yeah, that’s I think, that’s an awesome place. I know there’s a lot of stuff going on now with the lawsuit and everything. Which we, there’s just not much to say right now to dive into just yet. But, you have become very vocal about abuse within the Independent Baptist movement. You’ve seen it obviously and you know that it is a big problem and you become very outspoke, and an advocate for lack of better word. I always feel like words like that, don’t have a lot of meaning, but you really have been an advocate for survivors and have made yourself really squared off against this movement. So, I’m curious, like what’s pushing you to keep, you know, keep being so vocal about this? You know, obviously, your case has been as much legally as can happen with it, has happened. But now, you’re really taking time to help other people and to just keep raising the alarm on this. What’s motivating you to keep pushing into the kind of advocate role? As opposed to setting this on the shelf and trying to move on and go forward from there.

Rachel: I think there’s something beautiful in finding your voice. And, you realize just how brave you actually are. And, but I think a lot of it, honestly, is I’m going to start crying, my relationship with God now. I feel like I spent so many years, hating him, hating him and blaming him for what I went through at the hands of someone that represented him. And, I really struggled with what God is. And during the investigation, when I was just at my lowest and everything was just happening very quickly. I mean, I told God, “You’re the one that made this mess, you need to be the one to fix it. And if. You can fit it, then we can do this. Then we can work together.” And, I felt through the investigation, through the people that I’ve talked to, through the many girls that I talked to, I feel like I found this like strange, unique community of people that were hurt at the hand of someone that represented God. And their church did absolutely nothing about it, and made it worse. And when you’re hurt in an environment like that, yes, you can, you can hate yourself, you can hate your abuser, you can hate your environment. But, unfortunately, the other person that gets a lot of hatred is God, and it sucks, but that’s just how it is.

And, I felt like he revealed himself to me and in one of the realest ways that I could have ever seen. And he fought for my justice and he fought for my freedom. And, I felt like he showed me this role that had not been filled yet, at that point. For people that have been through abuse, have been through sexual abuse, spiritual abuse, and still believe in him and still want to make him look good, despite all of the bad that has happened. And, so I really do believe and I really do fell like God kind of put me in that position and gave me this role. And there’s too many people I can’t disappoint now, and too many people that I know, and I’m not saying this in a way to brag on myself, I’m saying it in a way to brag on God, because that’s what he can do in people’s lives. And that these monsters that made him look like a fool, is not him. And, the people that are protecting them and the people that are wanting to act like this never happened, need to be exposed and need to be called out and need to be in jail for what they have done.

And, so to answer your question, I feel like I found the purpose and the passion that I was looking for. And, I didn’t think it would be the worst time of my life that I would be passionate about, but that is what God has kind of given me. And I don’t want to mess that up now.

Eric: I always ask this question at the end, I think we’re leading right into it. But, I just have to know, do you think that there’s hope for reform of the IFB movement itself? Or, do you think it’s something that needs to be put to rest? Hence it’s broken, what do you hope to see as a result of your kind of advocacy work in this area?

Rachel: I mean, I am not here to say that every IFB church needs to be closed down. I’be had great conversations with different pastors and different church leaders that are still involved and very much still associate themselves with the IFB. And, I don’t think their churches need to be closed down. I do wish that, I mean, even just five years ago the conversation of abuse was not one that was taken seriously and, or it was just not discussed at all. And, that’s not just, I feel like yes, specifically in the church but also society. I feel like it’s changing what their views towards abuse and thing like that, but for specifically with church, it was something before that it was so brushed off with that’s gossip, that’s rumors, we’re not talking about that. If you don’t talk about it, it’s never going to get fixed. You don’t talk about it, there won’t be, there won’t ever be any change. And, so do I wish that every IFB church is closed? No, absolutely not. But, I do wish that with how public myself and many others are being with our experience; not just with our abusers but also with the churches that completely failed us. That it can show the next pastor that, if anything were to happen now they know what to do. And, now they definitely know what not to do.

And we can’t, you can’t stop a, you can but you can’t stop a sexual predator. They are going to find their way in a church, unfortunately, in a school, in a you name it. But, how you react and how your church is set up will predict how far they can get. And, I just hope that our, everything that we’re talking about can prevent that from ever happening, again. And, so in a long answer, no, I don’t think they can, they should be closed. But I do think that there’s al lot of things that we can fix so that another Victor does not happen again.

Eric: Yeah, that's awesome. Well, I don’t want to add too much, I feel like you said everything that could be said, but I appreciate you sharing. I mean, I know this was a long conversation and, you know, I feel like we covered really everything. But, I just appreciate you sharing and not, you know, just stop letting this sit where it is and for using your voice to share your story and to inspire other people to share theirs and to encourage pastors to be aware of this stuff. And, I just want you know and I know I speak for people listening as well, like I don’t take it lightly that you just had this conversation. And, I don’t take it lightly that you just spent three hours talking about literally the worst experience of your life. And, I appreciate you a lot, and I appreciate just the work that you’ve been doing. I appreciate you sharing, and yeah, I just thank you. Thank you for sharing.

Rachel: Thank you.

***One year after Victor went to prison, Rachel was given the opportunity to speak at a Senate hearing in favor of changing the statute of limitations on sexual assault in Indiana.***

(Audio Recording) Male Voice: “Just identify yourself and if you represent anybody.”

Rachel: Hello, I am Rachel Peach. I’m from Northwest Indiana, as well. My husband, Dan and I live in Hobart, Indiana.

And, thank you all for meeting with us today, According to the Indiana State Department of Heaths’ Trauma Times dated September-October 2018, Emergency Health Facilities statewide treated 8,273 confirmed sexual assault cases in our state in 2016 to 2017. And, the majority of these cases, the victim was between the ages of 15 and 17 years old.

I was 15 years old when I was raped for the first time. I was continually abused by the same man and sexual abuse because the new normal for me. I learned to live with it and block out the trauma. In March 2018, the BBC conducted a study to determine that, 90% of sexual assault victims know their attacker. Whether that attacher is: a family member, a teacher, a couch, or in my case my church youth pastor. These predators often use their authoritative power to instill fear as a tactic to silence their victims. But the indisputable certainty is that these kids grow up. They don’t stay 15 year old, scared children forever. We become adults and with that maturity comes the understanding of what was happening to us, as innocent children was, completely wrong. When we finally gained the strength to come forward about the evil that was done to us, the one thing we could hope for is that the law would protect victims rather than the predators.

Victims of sexual assault in Indiana deserve a voice. They deserve the ability to stand for themselves, to face their abuser and to have the law on their side. The last thing that should be on the mind of a courages victim, willing to speak up should be, I wish I had said something sooner. These thoughts of guilt are placed on the wrong person, when time and the law become their enemy. When a victim finally takes the first steps towards getting help and begins the process of healing, the last thing they need to hear is that there’s nothing that can be done. Today, we have an opportunity to stand with victims and to show our wonderful country that, Indiana does not tolerate sexual assault of any kind and we are willing to do something about it now. (Audio Recording ends)

***Thank you for listening to the Preacherboys Podcast. If you appreciated the content on the show, please leave a review on iTunes and don't forget to connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter with the handle @preacherboysdoc. Additional information can always be found on preacherboysdoc.com***

Rachel Peach's Story (Pt. 1) | Groomed By The Youth Pastor

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Sat, 26 Sep 2020 17:41:59 GMT

The following is a transcription of my interview with survivor Rachel Peach. If you'd prefer to watch, you can do so below.

Now here's your host, Eric Skwarczynski.***

Eric: Hey everybody, welcome back to the Preacher Boys Podcast. This is a very unique series of episodes for the Preacher Boys Podcast. This is a series with Rachel Peach, she is a survivor of sexual assault from Faith Baptist Church of Wildomar and she really just got super transparent and shared her story from start to finish. Part one of this series is going to explain really the grooming process and how her Youth Pastor systematically groomed her for abuse.

Part two's going to really dive into what prompted her to speak out and how she broke free of this situation. And then part three is about her advocacy work within the Independent Baptist movement to help victims of abuse. So definitely don't want to miss a single second, don’t jump around these episodes. Don't skip through really listen to everything she has to say and I know like myself, you're going to walk away with a whole lot of respect for Rachel. She's an incredible human being and she deserves to be heard. So tune into this first episode and I'll see you in the next one.

All right everyone, welcome back to the Preacher Boys Podcast. I'm so excited to have Rachel on the show today. Rachel, can you just introduce yourself to my audience and let them know how you first got introduced to the IFB movement?

Rachel: So thank you, Eric. My name is Rachel Peach and how I was introduced to the IFB is: my family and I grew up in a military family, my dad was in the air force. And so for the first seven or eight years of my life we moved around a lot. One of the first places that we, I remember anyways living in was actually in Japan and we were stationed in Okinawa and while we were there, we started going to a small little missionary church there. And it was a Baptist church but I would not define it as IFB. And even as a little kid, I know you see things differently as a kid, but I don’t remember wearing like dresses or skirts or things like that and I don't remember it being an issue or other women, um, not wearing it and it being an issue. But we really enjoyed that church and it was like a cool little community. cause it was all American families and their all military families from just different branches. And so it was a fun little community that we had there and we moved to Southern California in 2000 and we wanted to get involved in a church again, just because we had a positive and good experience from the previous church and so it would make sense to find one that is similar to the one that you were just attending. So we found a Baptist Church that was in Wildomar, California, called Faith Baptist Church. And so we started attending there around, it was like right around 2000-2001 and that is how I was introduced to IFB.

Eric: Got it, So I didn't know the Japan backstory, which is pretty cool. That's not a bad, that's not a bad first experience to have. Yeah, but what was your obviously that experience in Japan and that church wasn’t at least perceived harmful. Obviously as a kid, you don't notice a lot too, so who knows, as far as like you noticing something, nothing, no red flags were there at all.

Rachel: No, not at all.

Eric: Yeah, so when you guys first got to Faith Baptist in Wildomar, was it a positive experience, off the bat? Was it your parents, took you and you were like, oh, this place is really weird and different? What was that first reaction from you?

Rachel: I will say that it was, I did notice I was one of the handful that was wearing, a girl, that was wearing pants and that was kind of uncomfortable, but, it wasn't a huge deal to me. Honestly, it was a good experience when beginning at the beginning, when as a kid. This was also, I knew this move was going to be a more permanent stay, as my brother and I were getting older. And so it was a kind of a cool feeling, knowing that I can make friends now and it will be more permanent relationships instead of temporary, since that's kind of how it works in the military. And I remember those first few weeks as a little second grader at Faith Baptist. Like winning a bunch of candy and I came home with a goldfish one Sunday and I mean as a kid this is so fun. And I'm seeing the same faces every Sunday and that's really fun and exciting that I'm making friends now. And I mean, I know I can tell you exactly on the property like where I was when I accepted Jesus in my heart. I mean, it was a good experience in that time when you’re, I was first being introduced to the church as a little kid.

Eric: Right right, so at what point, I mean obviously it wasn’t an amazing experience all the way through and so what was the tipping point there. Where you first noticed maybe, okay maybe somethings not quite right here, or maybe this line has been crossed here. What was the first time you started, like I guess having the bubble burst for you at the church?

Rachel: So we attended for, I think it was maybe a year-a year and a half, and then my parents made the decision to put us in the Christian school. And there was also a school affiliated with the church and it’s all on the same property. And at first, I was excited because that meant I was going to be with my church friends, everyday now and that was exciting. But with going to the school, that also meant a lot more rules are to be followed now and one of the big ones being, your dress. That girls can not wear shorts or pants, they can only wear skirts and dresses. And, I mean, I at this point I was a huge tomboy growing up. So it was already a fight to even get me to wear a skirt in the first place. So now being told I have to wear every day, I like, I specifically remember like crying in the car cause I did not want to have to wear skirts every day. But the compromise was, if you don’t want to wear a skirt or dress, you could wear culottes. And I don’t really know how to explain them, like you can’t just go to the store, someone has to make them for you. And, so I remember the compromise is, I got to pick out the fabric that the culottes are going to be made with and I picked out camouflage and Sponge Bob because I wanted to at least have fun if I had to wear a skirt or dress every day. And so, that was a big one that I remember thinking like, I never had to do this before, like why do I have to do this now? And we weren't allowed to go to the movie theater anymore. We weren’t even allowed to talk about movies at all, or you would get in trouble. You couldn’t listed to any outside music, it was only like church approved Christian music and even some Christian music wasn’t even allowed. You had to go to church three times a week and I remember there was a lot of rules and that was so confusing to me because I never had to do any of these things prior.

So I didn't understand why it was bad or why it was wrong, but I wanted to be with my friends in school and they've all been doing it their whole life. So I also kind of felt like I didn't want to be looked at as the bad kid or like the rebel, so I guess I’ll just follow it and start doing all these things. And I feel like I also need to point out, I remember as young as, fourth, fifth grade, you’re being made to think that you are a part of something so special and you are so lucky that you get to be a part of FBC Wildomar, and all these other people just wish they get to be a part of this and you are, so why would you mess that up? Why would you risk that? And this is as good as it's ever going to get. And I remember I was a little kid feeling like that and feeling so much fear that this could all be taken away from me if I don’t just follow the rules, if I don’t listen, if I don’t just go along with it. And so I remember thinking that was weird, but I can adjust to it, we can just make it happen. And then as I got older and into the teen department that's when things kind of, there’s even more rules added now and a lot more pressure put on you.

Eric: That’s a good, that's a good word pressure. And I think, yeah, it, you just kind of summed up in your, in your story. And it's interesting to hear from somebody who started young enough to recognize the change, because like I grew up from day one in that world. And so I grew up on the campus seven days a week, like I literally was on campus seven days a week for the first 18 years. And it does, it has things like I had friends who were like brothers and sisters, because we were together seven days a week. But you also are so isolated to where you do, like for me from day one, it was, Oh, I'm so lucky to be a part of God's movement in this church. And in this, you know I'm lucky I was born into an Independent Baptist church and not into a reformed church or a Calvinist church or this kind of church or nondenominational church or the skater church that they always talked about down the road. And yeah, and then once you start getting into high school, the pressure just keeps building and building to where, okay, there's literally nowhere for you to go, but with us in this direction. And so I think pressures are really good.

Rachel: And especially when you start, when we started going to school like before, I would only see these people every Sunday. Now, I'm with them Monday through Sunday, you're there every day for school and then you're encouraged to be a part of a ministry, which means you're there on Saturday mornings now. And then you see them again on Sunday. And then you just repeat that, you’re always with these group of people. So you do feel like, I mean, as much as I didn't understand it was still like, these are my family, this is my community. And as the longer you’re in it, the longer that’s all you have. You don’t have a Plan B, there’s nobody else to go to, this is all you’ve known now. And so I remember when, you know, I’m in the youth group now and a lot of pressures is put on how you dress, especially the girls. I remember even as young as eighth grade, being pulled out of class by the school secretary and her telling me that a male teacher turned me in because he could see through my shirt. And being made to feel like I can’t, why would you make him turn you in? Like, why would you wear a shirt like that? And that young feeling like, oh my gosh, why would I do that?

Eric: You said eighth grade?

Rachel: Yeah. And so, and also now that in the youth group, you’re also given mandatory, like you have to go what they call soul-winning, that’s mandatory. Which is just you’re going into the community and inviting people to church, so that’s, you have to do that. You have to, you’re encouraged to be a part of a ministry, whether that’s working in the nursing or working on a bus route. Which is just, they go around to pick up people that cannot drive to church, so a bus will come pick them up. And, you’re, you are just putting so much pressure on yourself to make sure that you’re making everybody happy and you’re, while all following the rules. And, so I do remember just as a teenager having, I don’t know if you call it anxiety, but just constantly making sure I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing and making all my leaders happy. And I don’t want to get in trouble, I don’t want to be around people that I might get in trouble with, and just constantly worrying that you’re going to get in trouble. And I remember, my, I went into the youth group at the starts of seventh grade and I finally got to go to teen camp and it’s something that’s hyped up throughout the year and I finally get to be a part of it. And, you get to be with your friends for a whole week in the mountains in California, it’s going to be so much fun.

Eric: Was it Tim Ruhls' camp?

Rachel: No.

Eric: What camp was it?

Rachel: Well our church was the one that hosted it.

Eric: Oh, okay.

Rachel: Yeah, there was several different, there was like a church from New Mexico that came, a church from Arizona. It was a pretty big camp but our church was the one that hosted it. And this is my first year at teen camp and I got kicked out on the third day. And I, I mean, it was very unclear why we were getting sent home. I was even told by a youth worker a couple years later, that the only reason we did was because it was our pastor’s sister that was upset with us and she really pressured for us to be sent home. But it made me terrified to get in trouble again, because I as a little seventh grader, what you’re like 12-13 years old, I was instantly made to feel like I completely blew it and I disappointed everyone. And I felt like it gave me just a constant anxiety that I need to please my leaders and like a need that I have to make up for this now because, look what I did. And it was, I mean a very traumatic experience as in my mind, I’m still a kid and I’m being sat in the back of the auditorium with my suitcase next to me and my friends and people trying to walk up to talk to me and the youth group leader being like, No, you can not talk to her. And I'm just like, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to. And that was my introduction to the youth group and so I instantly felt I have to make it up to these people. Yeah I completely ruined my reputation, as they put a lot of pressure on your reputation and your name. And I just blew it, I completely blew it for something that I was still confused about what I really even did. And there was no clear explanation of what even happened, but it was a lot.

Eric: Yeah, no, and it goes back to that pressure, the amount of anxiety I talked about this on a recent episode, but the amount of anxiety that I felt and the amount of times I felt like I was the worst kid. Like I was literally bombing at life and I look back now and it's so funny because I wasn't doing any, like my wildest teenage moments are like just normal teenager, teenage moments. It's really, it is when you get sent home from a youth activity and it’s, you were distracting people who needed to hear the gospel. There's probably someone that needed to be saved that isn't saved now, because you were acting up during a church service. Like thinking constantly about you not participate in ministry or you not keeping quiet in church being the direct reason someone's going to go to hell is a lot of weight for a 12, 13, 14, 15 year old to be carrying on their shoulders. And yeah, I can imagine that being your first introduction to not necessarily put you in a good state of mind as a teenage.

Rachel: And especially because this is something that, you look forward to starting at like fifth, sixth grade that I get to go to teen camp next year. And I mean, it’s a week long camp, so it is a lot of money that your parents are paying for and I lasted two and a half days and I was sent home. And I mean it was, I was so disappointed in myself and I can recognize now that I became very depressed after that, just cause I, I’m looking at it as my pastor thinks I’m this terrible person now, my youth pastor thinks, you know that I’m one of the bad teens and I completely just disappointed my parents because they paid all this money and I’m already home, I got sent home. And it was, I mean, I used to joke about it because it was just a really strange experience, but I recognize now where my constant need to make everyone happy came from. Because I didn’t want that feeling anymore, I wanted everyone, I didn’t want people to think I was the bad kid.

And so, a couple years go by and I’m in like ninth tenth grade now and I have a good set of friends that I really like. And, our principal, his name is Greg Beale, and he did this really fun thing where he would just go through everybody’s lockers and take their cell phones out and he went through everyone’s cell phone. And there was a ton of people that had music on their phone, like what they call bad music, music that the church does not sell. And, he like freaked out about it and called us all to the office. I remember I was sitting there with 10 other people waiting to go int there, and he just ripped my face off for having music on my phone that we should not be listening to. And from then on, it just seemed like I was constantly getting in trouble. And I mean, I will say, some of it was my fault, it’s the rule and I was breaking it and not going to act like I wasn’t. One of the big rules as a teenager was, you’re not allowed to have any social media at all, and I had a Facebook and he found the Facebook and I was in trouble for that.

I was suspended because of dress code. Like you’re not, your skirt isn’t long enough or your shirt wasn’t high enough, I remember I was suspended for a few days. And, I just felt like I was in this pit where I was back to being looked at as the bad kid. And it, whether I was, I mean I don’t want to think that anyone was out to get me or anything. Maybe, I was just not being as sneaky as I thought I was. And just getting caught a lot with doing stupid things. But I think like you said earlier, I was so frustrated and disappointed in myself for constantly getting in trouble. But I look back now, you know as a 28 year old and see my 14, 15 year old self and it’s like you were getting in trouble for listening to Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. And, adding your cousins on Facebook and going to the movie theater to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. You weren’t, you weren’t you know smoking pot, or underage drinking, or you know sneaking out with your friends at night and staying out past curfew. Like those are the, that’s what you normally get in trouble as a teenager and but going to the movie theater and listening to Katy Perry is like equivalent to that in their eyes. And that’s how you’re being made to feel, like you’re, and not just that but I mean, I remember even Mr. Beale, who he was a very, just emotionally and verbally abusive man. But he would just make you feel like these people: your pastor, your teachers, your youth paster, they’re making all these sacrifices for you to be your teacher, to be your fill in the blank, and this is what they get in return. This is what, this is how you show your appreciation for their sacrifice. So you’re sitting there like wow, I can’t believe I would do that. Like they probably think I hate them now. Yeah, so that was just, I mean, I was definitely just in this pit of like, I can’t believe I just blew it again, I was doing so good and I just completely blew it.

Eric: Yeah, it’s and that’s a pattern of abuse in itself is and I’ve thought about this as I’ve looked back and it’s hard because I do want to be careful, like I don’t want to look at every disagreement and say, oh that was abuse. When it comes to my background or say everything, cause in know there were a lot of well intentioned people that did really dumb things as leaders that for whatever reason had a bad impact. But, I also look at some relationships I had, I’ve talked about my relationship with my youth pastor and I don’t have, I don’t have hard feelings toward him or anything like that. But the relationship I had with him, especially near the end was, I would say somewhat mentally abusive in the sense that he did the same thing.

He would basically move the goalposts where I was always chasing approval from him, from staff. And so, you know if I volunteered for the bus route then that got me you know, oh I was great for a few months. And that was like, why aren’t you doing the choir and the bus route? Okay, I can’t sing but I’ll do the choir too. Well, why aren’t you ushering and doing that? Why aren’t you going soul-winning on Tuesdays and Saturdays? And it was constantly chasing this like unattainable goal and trying to constantly be like, okay, am I being an above and beyond Christian? Am I in God’s will? You know, am I doing all these things that I’m supposed to do? And so yeah, whether intentional or not, it's definitely within the IFB movement from a lot of people I've talked to. I think that idea of constantly moving the goal of what makes you a good Christian, is a common thing. That's something that happens consistently within it.

Rachel: And constantly moving the goal, but also constantly changing what makes you a bad Christian and being made to feel like, you know in each time, I’m, each time we’re getting in trouble with music, or movie theater, or the very small things of life. You’re not just disappointing your leaders, your disappointing God. And this is how, what do you think God thinks? And, you’re being made to think that he must hate me because all I’m doing is everything bad in their eyes. And, so it was shortly after that, it was all around this same time period, I remember it was a Sunday night and I will never forget this, that our pastor’s name was Bruce Goddard, and he did a whole sermon on teenagers with social media. And he eve said, “there’s some sitting in here right now that I went through your Facebook or your MySpace. This was early 2000’s, and I’m sitting there with my best friend like, oh my gosh, he’s talking about me. And, he went, every sermon from there, on was about you know what is your teenager doing with their social medial? They’re not even supposed to have social media, with their music. And I mean, I felt so guilty.

*** Audio: Bruce Goddard / I have more preaching on my phone then anything else. I don’t save videos, wouldn’t even know how. Maybe videos I’ve taken of my grandkids. But preaching, how much teaching and preaching do we have at our church? Again, 6 in the morning, 6 in the evening there's teaching and preaching. Get it all. Shut the television off, get off Facebook. I'm amazed walking around church before we had all this craziness, the number of people sitting in church on Facebook, you have a chance to be in fellowship. The first continue is in prayer and the next continue is in doctrine and the next continue is in fellowship, you’re with the people of God, this is vital. Facebook is not fellowship, it’s an open door to every kind of idiotic person and thing on the planet. You know who runs Facebook, they are not Bible believing Christians, I'll tell you that much.***

Rachel: I felt so ashamed that I knew that he obviously knew that, I got in trouble with that and some of my friends got in trouble with that. It was the next week I remember, our youth pastor, his name was Victor Montero. He did a whole chapel sermon, we had chapel twice a week in our Christian school and he did a whole chapel sermon about music and about how comparing it to a drug, that it feels like a drug and it's and addiction and music controls how you think and what you do and it's a sin and this and that. And just went on and on about music and I'm also sitting there feeling like okay, so he knows now. Like everyone knows that we're just totally screwing up and just getting in trouble. And they know about all the music, all the bad music that I have been listening to. And I felt terrible, I felt horrible about myself, that I completely disappointed him, that I disappointed my pastor, and my principal. And he gets to the end of the sermon and he says, if you want to overcome the sin and the addiction of music, I can help you and come talk to me and we can work this out. And he even made a comment and I don't know if this was word for word, but he made a comment about like, “We can do it together, we don’t have to tell your parents, we don’t have to tell teachers we can work on this together. You don't have to feel like you're going to get in trouble if you come to me.” And so I saw that as like a way to redeem myself or make up for all the bad that I had done before that. And so, that’s exactly what I did. And so I went up to him after chapel and I said, “you know I listen to bad music and I want to give it up. I want to do this.” And so he said, “okay, how about tomorrow? Or it was sometime that week, come to my office and bring me all of your bad music, all of your CDs, whatever it is. And we'll talk about it.” And I said, “okay.” So I can’t remember if it was the next day or sometime that week, I remember I went to his office and I had like you know the books, it's like for where you put all the CDs. I don't even think they sell those anymore. But, I went in there and I brought it to him and I was going in expecting him to rip my face off or be so crushed that I had all of these CDs. And, I had Taylor Swift, and Katy Perry, and Rascal Flatts, and...

Eric: All the worst bands.

Rachel: Oh yeah, and I remember I put it on his desk and he opens it up and starts going through it and he's not saying anything. And he gets to I had a Beach Boys CD and he goes, “wow, you know who the Beach Boys are?”, I’m like, “well yeah, I think they’re cool.” And he just starts talking with me about how cool the Beach Boys are and then he makes a comment about Billy Joel and I'm like, “yeah, I know who Billy Joel is.” And he's like, “Whoa, I can't believe you know who Billy Joel, like you're too young to listen to him,” or something like that. And just starts talking with me about music, which I was not expecting. I was expecting him to be really upset that I was listening to this and he wasn’t and I was relieved that he wasn’t upset though. And we just started talking about Billy Joel and the Beach Boys and it was totally normal. And so he said, “is it okay if I start texting you, just to check in on you and work together with this?” And I’m like, “yeah, that’s fine.”

I also feel like I need to explain the nature of the youth group, at this point and who Victor was. So he, him texting me and I feel like people would be like, “wouldn’t you think that’s weird?” No, his name was on every single girl's phone. There was not a friend of mine that he was not texting and it was very open that wasn’t a secret. And so for him to say, “I’m going to start texting you about it,” that it’s just what everyone else was doing. And also, he was one of the most inappropriate people I’ve ever met. And I’m laughing about it now because as an adult you see things much differently. Like why didn't nobody think that was weird? Why did nobody say something about this? if I would have heard the conversations and the jokes he made. If it was my kid, I would have been like, the heck is wrong with this guy. And he would, I mean, I remember as young as eighth grade, hearing him make dirty jokes, that was just who he was, that was his humor. And everyone just laughed about it. And, like some examples, we'd be at a teen activity at the beach and someone would be eating a hot dog and he'd walk up and say, “yeah, I bet you like that.” and everyone would just laugh. that was just his humor. And, one of my really good friends, developed a lot quicker than the other girls and she'd be walking down the hallway and he would say “what's up DD” and we just thought that was funny. That was, there was nothing to wonder why that would be very inappropriate to be commenting about a 14 year olds bra size. And, or if your bra was showing, he would just walk up and snap the straps and just laugh about it. Or, if we were like upset or giving him attitude or something, he'd be like, “it's, someone's time of the week and or time of the month,” and everyone would just start laughing. And that was there, that was so normal. And we, I look back now and we were so desensitized to why that's inappropriate and you're also living in this bubble as it was, so you’re not realizing that's even inappropriate. And that was very much the nature of the youth group and his interaction with the teenagers specifically teenage girls.

Eric: Yeah, that’s so crazy. I mean, I didn’t have that situation, you know obviously like happened at the school that I grew up in, church I grew up in. But yeah, that the kind of like inappropriate humor and stuff was like rampant in the youth group. And it wasn't just us, it was the leaders and it was like, there were just a lot of jokes that were like, like gay jokes. And there were a lot of jokes that were like way over the line. But yeah, you don't think anything of it at the time, but it's because your leader sets the morality for the group. And so he does it. It's okay. And, if I told a dirty joke, then I might get demerits or he might laugh. Who knows which way it's going to go. But for people listening, I hope you guys already picked up because I was going to ask you about, grooming. But you’ve already hit it from the first point, red flag, one saying, “hey, come talk to me. We don’t have to tell anybody.” That alone was like, when he said that I’m like, okay, big siren going off. Like, that’s not cool and again just for people listening like definitely read about this stuff. But one of the first things that everybody does when they groom somebody is to create some kind of secret that only they have. And so private counseling, like telling them something about them, and with the music, like even trying to make you feel more mature, you know saying like, “Oh, you're too young to know who this is, you know the same music that I know.” That's red flag two, and then to get an invitation to get closer to you with the texting, red flag three. And this is, all a lot of these stories we're looking at two, three, four years but it can happen if someone's really, and it sounds like from your story, because I was going to ask about this, it doesn't, it sound like this was a situational thing where he, you know like, I don’t really believe the same way but where someone would say, “oh he saw a situation and quote, unquote, messed up.” This is a situation where you can see clearly, especially when you've listened to a lot of these cases, you can see the bait being thrown out in that first meeting.

Rachel: Oh, it was completely premeditated in my opinion. And I think that grooming already is premeditated sexual assault. And I can recognize now that all of this was grooming and not, specifically to the music thing, and then, asking to text to check in on me, that's a hundred percent grooming, but he was grooming you the minute you stepped in to the youth group. And, anyone I grew up with cannot argue this, that he was extremely touchy feely with all of us. With pulling your hair, with punching your arm, full on wrestling sometimes at different activities. Things that if I was seen doing it with a boy my age, we would get in so much trouble. But if it’s with the youth pastor, well its totally fine now. And each time he made a dirty joke around you, each time that he would push you, or pull your hair, that was all grooming. He's seeing how you are going to react and how you react is what he'll do the next time. And each time he is just pushing and pushing the limit a little bit more to see your reaction. So that by the time something actually happens, that line was already blurred for so long that you don't even realize what's happening, is he's molesting you or he's this he's that because you don’t, in your mind it's he does that with everyone. He's been doing this for so long, like it was a little uncomfortable this time but it’s nothing new, its nothing shocking. And that's something that I think was really hard for me for, to see people, not, there wasn't many teenagers I grew up with that defended him, but I think they had a hard time to believe just how evil he was. And it was hard for me to explain., you, that could of been you. That every teenager that stepped in that youth group was nothing but a potential crime to him, there, each conversation, everything was just him seeing what your reaction would be, to see how much further he can go.

Eric: Yeah. And also too, I think you kind of alluded to this, but also making jokes in front of other people. He was also grooming the people around him to accept what he was doing and to see; is someone going to call me out? How far can I push this in a public setting where, people are still gonna have my back. But yeah so.

Rachel: He would make those jokes, I remember him making those jokes in front and he was definitely more bold in front of certain people. But, it was those same kind of jokes in front of different youth workers in front of staff kids, deacon kids. It wasn't like he picked and choose who he would say the joke around or who he would make a dirty comment around, it was everybody. And he's saying out loud in the middle of the hallway. So then, when he starts texting you and the Inappropriate comment slips in, you don't question it right away because he's saying it in public too. No one's saying anything about it, no one's stopping him from doing that. So, why comment about it privately, if he's going to do it publicly as well.

Eric: Right, right, so what about around, what time is this when you start texting and like what grade, what year?

Rachel: This would have been around 10th grade.

Eric: Okay, around 10th grade. So you start texting them, like and your parents are fully aware you're texting him or aware to the sense that people in the youth group text the youth pastor?

Rachel: I’m not going to lie, my, I was very independent at a very young age. And so my parents fully trusted me, they fully trusted the environment I was in and in my opinion, depended on the environment a lot to also be that, parental figure. So my parents were not the kind to, take my phone each night or like I was, I gave them no reason not to trust me. And so they, and even if, a few times, if my mom did see his name on my phone, there's nothing to worry about that's the youth pastor. Why would you question that?

Eric: Yeah, you just hit on it. They kind of relied on that, like as being an extra parental figure. I do think it's a, my dad said this recently, and this is not shade on my dad, cause I think he meant it like many well intentioned parents do. But sometimes my dad will say, “well the church helped raise you.” Like there's people when I say something negative about the church, he'll say, “the church, you know the church, there's people in the church that helped raise you.” And I'm always like, “no, you raised me.” And like the church was there and it was formative, but that was not at all their role. And I think the people who stepped into that role overstepped in a lot of ways, but I think you kind of hit on that. There's a lot of parents, and I'm just clarifying this because I want people listening who maybe have kids in a situation to reconsider, obviously. But I think a lot of parents see, Oh, my kid is gone all day, but they're with their youth pastor. I'm so lucky that my kid wants to hang out with their youth pastor and not a drug dealer, whatever crazy thing they come up with. And, Oh, I see the youth pastors name on my girl's phone. I'm glad it's not some boy trying to do something. And the issue is people don't realize those can be two of the same. Like the manipulative boy can become a youth pastor. The person who's overstepping boundaries and be a pastor, it can be a pastor's wife, it can be all of these things.

So I think you saying that safety net of saying, Oh, she’s a good kid because now she’s interested in spending time with the youth pastor, with people from the church. Most parents in America, even people who aren’t Christians would be like, Oh, that’s awesome, that’s a good thing, but you have to be way more aware than that because there’s a lot of bad people that try to slip into these kinds of roles for that exact reason.

Rachel: Well and it's funny that you mentioned that too, about, being maybe desensitized is the word, that I'm texting, that his name is constantly on my phone. And it's interesting because, I remember there was one time my phone went off in class and so if you want to get your phone back, you have to go to the principal to get your phone back and coincidentally, it went off because Victor was texting me during class. And so I go to Mr. Beale’s office to get my phone back, and I knew I didn't have anything on my phone, so I wasn't worried about anything. And he was going through my messages and he made a comment about, “wow, you sure text Brother Victor a lot.” And I, that was the first time I felt awkward or questioned why that would be weird. And I felt extremely uncomfortable and I just looked at him and said, “okay.” And he goes on and makes a comment and says, “does his wife know?” And I was mortified. I just looked at him and said, “does she know what?” And he was like, “his name's on here a whole lot.” And he, it was obvious he was not happy or thrilled that he was texting me so much. And he just handed me my phone back and I walked out and to my knowledge, he never said anything about it to my parents, never said anything about it to Victor, never said anything about it to Bruce Goddard, and I just walked out completely confused. Like, What just happened? Why am I being made to feel like I did something wrong?” When like an, obviously the nature of the text was not inappropriate or else, I would've thought he would have said something. And at that time looking back, it, it was a constant conversation, he was texting me a lot, but it was very boring stuff. Talking about, he would randomly send me like a joke, or send me like a Bible verse, or talk about if I can help with an upcoming activity or something. Nothing, nothing that would alarm me at that point. And so…

Eric: Yeah, Oh, sorry. I was just going to say it's interesting just from Beale's perspective that the blame was on you and it wasn't like, Hey, why is one of our staff texting a teenage girl?Because again, at that time period, and I think back again, to the best of my knowledge and I thoroughly don't think anything ever happened with like my youth leaders, but there were things that they did that weren't smart, like texting. If you're a pastor, listen to this, don't text any girls in your congregation just constantly, that's not smart. I wouldn't go so far as don't ever send a message or don't ever, but having a constant flow of communication with people, especially if they're minors, like just don't do it because you're putting, even if you're completely innocent, it looks really bad.

Rachel: Yes, extremely. At this point, he is texting me a lot and he started doing this thing where he was like, “Oh, since you're so into music” and would make it like a joke about joking about how I got in trouble with music. And “Oh, since you're, since you think, you know everything about music, do you know this song?” And he would send me like an older song and I'd be like, “Oh yeah, I heard that. Or yeah, I liked that one.” And so that kind of became like a thing where you would try to think of songs that he didn't think I would know or would just be like, “Oh, I heard this the other day in the store. It sounds so cool.” I don't mean it was confusing because it’s, I got in trouble for listening to that, but it's okay if I listen to it with you or you're the one showing me. And so there was really no reason for me to be like, well why are you sending me this? It seemed very innocent and at that point still normal. And that continued on for a little while and, or he would ask, “Oh, what song do you like? tell me a song to look up.” And then I would find a song and send one to him. and it was just very, I mean that's totally weird, but at the time it seemed very normal.

Eric: But at the time, it just seems like it's a cool youth leader.

Rachel: Yeah and that was definitely, that was his reputation, he was a very funny person. He knew how to make you laugh, he knew how to be relatable with you. As most abusers do, they're not the creepy guy in the hallway. They know how to charm people, they know how to turn on what they need to turn on, to make you believe that side of them. And, he sends me a song and he says, “I heard the song and you have to tell me what you think of it.” And I was like, “Oh, okay.” And he says, “I just couldn’t help but think of you when I heard it.” And I was like, “oh, okay.” And I was thinking it was going to be like something funny, or I don’t know what I was thinking. But he sends me the song and I’m not even going to say the title because the title is inappropriate and I’m listening to it and the entire song is about sex. I mean, completely inappropriate, very explicit, and I’m listening to it, like am I hearing this correctly? Like it, It sounds cool, it has a cool beat but like the lyrics are extremely explicit. One of the lyrics is literally “I want to have sex with you.” And I don’t, I don’t think I even replied right away cause, I was like, how, how do I say this without making it weird? And I even remember him, like sending a question mark after, like really wanting my response. And I just said “yeah, sounds cool. I like the bass in it," or something like, let me not acknowledge the very explicit lyric. And he pushed even further and said, “what do you think about the chorus?”

And the chorus is like where all the inappropriateness was and I was just like, “yeah, sounds cool.” And he just sent back like a Winky face or something. And I remember thinking, like that's weird. This is a very inappropriate song, but I don't want to make it weird. I don't want to acknowledge that and make it more weird than it already is. And then I don't remember if I even text back. I think I just left it alone, like okay, that was weird. Maybe he didn't hear that part, maybe he heard it differently, or I’m making excuses for him for…

Eric: You'd already been taught to carry the blame for whatever goes wrong all this time.

Rachel: Yeah, and so it was right around that time our school and our church, this was a school one has a fundraiser, as they have many fundraisers and, but this one specifically was for candy sale where we would just go into the community and sell candy for, I really don't know what, I'm not sure where the money went, but, he invited me to go sell candy with him. And I remember as younger seeing all, and this is just my opinion, what seemed like the cooler, popular kids always got invited by him to go with him to sell candy. And it's now I'm being asked to like, I'm one of those kids now. And a few of my friends were going, I'm like, yeah, of course, like this is going to be so fun. And so we all go and we're in Moreno Valley and selling candy and we get to each stop, and there's also a very strict role at our church and school that a girl and a guy can not be alone in a car together. Whether you're a teenager with a teenage boy or you're an adult with a teenager, you cannot be alone in the car with the opposite gender.

And there was like, I think three or four people with us. So he was going to each stop and leaving them like in front of a store to sell candy for an hour or so. And so there's me and one other girl in the car and we pull up and I go to get out with her and he's like, “Oh wait, I was going to bring you over to Albertsons.” and I'm like, “Oh, okay.” So I just sit back down, she gets out and I'm thinking, it means it's only going to be us in the car. But it's right down the street, no big deal. And so I sit back down and he's like, "you’re not gonna sit in the front with me.” And I'm like, “Oh, okay.” So I go and sit in the front seat and we're driving and before I know it, we pass Albertsons. We're not going to Albertsons right now. And so we keep driving and I remember thinking like, okay, And I noticed he's not really going anywhere, we’re just circling things. And before I know it, he is putting his hand on my leg and I remember thinking maybe he doesn't see my leg there or like making excuses for his actions. And he flips off the church music that he had on and puts on the radio and is acting all cool and stuff with me, “Oh, you get to listen to music now.” And I remember I just laughed about it, “Oh yeah.” And we keep driving and he grabs my hand and just start holding my hand. And so we're driving around listening to music and holding hands.

And I remember I was just frozen. Like what the heck is happening right now? and I didn't say a word. I didn't, I couldn't even look at him. I just looked out the window the whole time and he's just sitting there holding my hand and driving the car and that went on for a few more minutes and then we're back in front of Albertsons and he's like, “all right, I'll be back in 45 minutes.” And I'm like, “okay.” So I just grabbed my candy and jump out and I just stand in front of Albertsons, like what, what just happened? I, he definitely did that, that was not an accident, like he didn't just brush my leg. It was very intentional. And then I began to question everything like, did I give him a reason to think that, I was going to be okay with this? Or did he actually do that. And I felt like I was constantly questioning in my head if, first of all, if it even happened and I'm like, I'll just wait and see if he'll say anything about it to me, if you never text me about it, he never said anything. So I'm like, I'm not going to bring it up and I just stood there for that whole hour. I couldn't even open my candy, didn’t even talk to one person, just stood there in front of Albertsons, like what do I do now? And so he comes back and now everyone's in the car and he picks me up and we all go to McDonald's or In-N-Out, something and it's a great night and everything's fine. And, I'm goofing off and having fun with my friends and go home. He never said anything, so I never texted about it, never said anything. And so a few days go by and it's never brought up. So I'm like, okay, like maybe, maybe it was just an accident.

And so we, a couple of days go by it and he asked me again, if I would want to go back out to sell candy again. And it was the same group of people that was going to go. And they were all really good friends of mine and we have really a lot of fun together. And at this point I don't think any of us were driving or anything. So it was kind of rare that we all got to be in a car together. Like that was like the highlight and so I'm like, “yeah, I'm like, I'll go again.” And in my mind, I was also seeing if this, if something will happen again, or if this was just something that, I read into. And so we’re in a different city now, we’re all going to each store and it’s like clockwork. I noticed that he’s letting everyone off first and I’m definitely feeling the anxiety of, okay maybe I wasn’t just imagining what happened. And he said, “Hey Rach, I’m gonna, you’re going to go to State of Brothers” or whatever the store was. And I’m like, “okay” and so he drops the last person off again and I’m just sitting there and before I could say anything, he says, it was kind of cooler out that night and he says, “ do you want me to get some hot chocolate?” And I go, “sure”, like that sounds fine in my head, that means we’re going to be at a store, we’re going somewhere. And so we pull up to Barnes and Nobles and we both walk in and he gets us some hot chocolate and he says, “Oh, I, I need to get something really fast.” So we walk over to where, like the music is in Barnes and Nobles and I noticed like he's going through all these TVs, stuff like that. And he’s like, “Oh, I found it.”

So he goes and buys it and we go out to the car and it's a Robin Thicke CD. Which at that time I did not know who Robin Thicke was, not music that a 30 something year old man would be listening with a teenage girl and he puts the CD in and we just start listening to it and drinking hot chocolate. And I'm just like, I feel like I'm just zoned out, like what, what is going on? so before I know it, he just starts crying and like very visibly upset and just crying and I'm instantly made to feel like, what's wrong? What happened? And he just starts talking about, his job and the pressure with his work and from the church and some other things that he brought up and very, I mean things that you should not be telling anyone that is not married to you, or definitely not a teenager in your youth group. And just starts opening up about all this stuff and telling me all this stuff that I had no idea about as far as what the church and with his life and stuff. And he, I remember he even made a comment like, “I'm such a terrible youth pastor, all the teenagers hate me and I'm not doing anything good enough.” And I realized now this is all grooming and I'm instantly made to feel like, no, you're not, what are you talking about? We all love you, you’re so cool, you’re so fun. And he’s still visibly upset, crying, and then it’s like, he catches himself and said, “oh my gosh, like I cannot believe I just told you all that. What if you tell so and so? What if you tell you friends?” Instantly, making me say, “i’m not going to tell anyone, don’t worry.” That was all, that’s exactly what he wanted. And he just like totally baited me and I just went along with it.

And so, he just sat there and he looks at me and he’s like, “I could just really use a hug, can I just hug you?” And I’m like, “sure.” I feel so bad for him at this point, that all these terrible things are going on in his life. So, he gives me a hug and I notice he’s just rubbing my back and squeezing me really hard and still crying on my shoulder. And I’m just like, “it’s okay.” And so, he’s just like, “man, like, I haven’t told anyone that. Ive never been able to tell anybody that. It’s just so easy to talk to you. And it’s like I’m talking to one of my best friends and he’s like but man, like you can’t tell anybody that.” And I’m like, “yeah, don’t worry.” Instantly, making me feel like I’m in on this information that nobody else knows and I’m so mature to understand it, when even the adults don’t understand. And, this is all grooming, a hundred percent. Very calculated, premeditated grooming and it worked unfortunately. So after that, that night started years of abuse.

***Thank you for listening to the Preacher Boys Podcast. If you appreciated the content on the show, please leave a review on iTunes and don't forget to connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter with the handle @preacherboysdoc. Additional information can always be found on preacherboysdoc.com***

Believe Women | The Invisible Man in the #MeToo Era

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Mon, 21 Sep 2020 07:27:27 GMT

When it comes to any form of abuse, it can feel like most of the battle is getting people to actually believe you.

Leigh Whannell's The Invisible Man , which just dropped on HBO Max this weekend– is not only a masterfully directed horror film, but a timely commentary on domestic violence.

The film synopsis reads, "When Cecilia's abusive ex takes his own life and leaves her his fortune, she suspects his death was a hoax. As a series of coincidences turn lethal, Cecilia works to prove that she is being hunted by someone nobody can see." (IMDB)

This marks Whannell's third time in the director's chair – his last release, Upgrade, a hugely successful and impressive sci-fi thriller that left us wondering how on earth he would top himself.

With The Invisible Man, he proved Upgrade wasn't an anomaly. His directorial talent is evident from start to finish. I was on the edge of my seat within the first 2 or 3 minutes, as our central character makes a daring escape from her abuser and their isolated home. The tension ratchets up throughout the runtime, and anyone who has a tendency to bite their nails normally can expect to have none left by the time the credits roll.

Perhaps surprisingly, the horror of The Invisible Man is not found primarily through jump scares and bloody set-pieces you'd expect from the genre. Although it certainly does have a few of those moments, the scariest sequences are those in which Cecilia (Elizabeth Moss) is frantically trying to get someone to believe she is experiencing abuse that they cannot see.

This feeling is true to life. Many survivors cite others lack of willingness to believe them as one of the primary reasons that they did not come forward initially. And the statistics for those who DO come forward are not incredibly positive. Out of every 1,000 rapes, 994 perpetrators will walk free, according to a report by RAINN that cited 2010-2014 Bureau of Justice statistics.

The fact of the matter is, our culture seems to struggle to believe women. And, in many cases were sexual assault clearly did happen, they simply choose to not believe that women are the victim.

"The fact of the matter is, our culture seems to struggle to believe women."

In Dr. Jessica Taylor's book, Why Women Are Blamed for Everything , she shares some startling statistics.

"Johnson (1997) found that a significantly higher proportion of men than women endorsed rape myths that stated that most rapes could be prevented if women didn't provoke them and if women didn't secretly want to be raped (Sleath, 2011).
More recent studies found that a third of the UK general public sample believed a woman behaving in a flirtatious way was responsible for being raped and believed that a woman was responsible for being raped if she failed to say 'no' clearly enough (Amnesty International, 2005)
McMahon and Farmer (2011) found that 53% of the students agreed that the actions of the woman led her to being raped. In the UK, The Fawcett Society (2017) found that 34% of women and 38% of men agreed that women are at least partially to blame for rape.

This cultural view of women leads to the same consequences for real life survivors as it does for our fictional main character. A feeling of isolation, betrayal, and loneliness.

While many survivors have proven their inner strength by aggressively taking a stand and fighting back on their own, much pain and hardship could be softened if those closest to them would gather round, lift them up, and have their back.

The Invisible Man is currently streaming on HBO Max. Rated R for some strong bloody violence, and language.

PROOF Curtis Hutson Knew the TRUTH About Jack Hyles and Protected Him

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Thu, 23 Jul 2020 19:10:41 GMT

A letter sent November 23, 1990, reveals that then-president and editor of the Sword of the Lord, Curtis Hutson, KNEW of "financial improprieties" and "immorality" but REFUSED to remove Jack Hyles from the "Sword Board."

He also explicitly stated he would not preach with those who spoke out against Jack or Dave Hyles, for fear of doing "damage to Fundamentalism."

The letter literally concludes with Hutson claiming he would deny everything he previously said in the letter if it became public.

This is written proof of a massive cover-up within the IFB.

Click the button below to view the original documents in their entirety.

Ridiculous IFB College Demerits

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Sun, 12 Jul 2020 23:34:49 GMT

"I once received demerits in Bible college for going soul winning on the wrong day. What is the most ridiculous thing you received demerits for while attending Christian school/Bible college?"

This post sparked a comment thread in the Preacher Boys Official Discussion Group that was equal parts hilarious and depressing.

Here are the top 20 most ridiculous reasons people cited for getting demerits at Bible College.

1. Wet Hair

2. Running Late

3. This Barista Got Himself in Hot Water

4. Can't Catch a Brake

5. Showing Skin at the Beach

6. Public Nudity & Side Hugs

7. The Shave Isn't Close Enough

8. Coming Up Short

9. Catching Someone When They Fall

10. Being a Lil' Bit Country

11. Caught with Your Pants Down?

12. Making it a Blockbuster Night

13. You Reap What You Sew

14. Basic Survival Tactics

15. Don't Put Yourself in Her Shoes...

16. No Room for Loners

17. No Rest for the Weary

18. Impromptu Ambulance Driver

19. No Foot-Stomping Please

20. Not College... But Yikes

Which of these did you think was the most ridiculous? Have a story that tops all of them? Drop your story in the comments below!

NVBC Assistant Pastor – Husband of Two Wives

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Wed, 08 Jul 2020 06:59:12 GMT

A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife , vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; – 1 Timothy 3:7 KJV

While the information in this article is not directly related to a story of abuse – it does point to the hypocrisy and doublespeak adopted by organizations like North Valley Baptist Church in Santa Clara, Ca.

Golden State Baptist College & North Valley Baptist Church – as well as most fundamentalist Christian entities – recognize 1 Timothy 3:1-7 to be the guidelines that anyone pursuing pastoral office must meet.

However, Alvin Martinez, IFB conference regular and assistant pastor at one of the largest – and most influential IFB churches in the United States – is the husband of TWO women .

The documents below show the details of his attempt to annul a marriage in the Philippines to a wife he deserted when he moved stateside to serve at Golden State Baptist College and North Valley Baptist Church.

Hopewell Baptist Church Meeting Regarding Abuse (6.25.20) FULL TRANSCRIPT

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Fri, 26 Jun 2020 18:23:23 GMT

On June 25, 2020, Pastor Mike Ray held a closed meeting to address multiple allegations of abuse at Hopewell Baptist Church in Napa, CA.

The meeting lasted only 13 minutes and no victims or family members of victims were given an opportunity to speak.

What follows is the transcript of the meeting. You can listen to the audio here: https://youtu.be/koNnAU6riC0

MIKE RAY: If you are a member than you are welcome to attend this meeting -that's what we announced. This is family business - or if at one time you were that's fine too.

When I moved here 34 years ago I had

one goal in mind to reach a city for Christ

that was it.

I left everybody I knew to move here

My parents were weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth when they said goodbye to their little grandkids.

I didn't know anybody. I didn't even speak the language here. I didn't know all the obscene gesture or all the cuss words until I moved here.

In four years I knocked on every door

in this city. I've been to every house. If you live in Napa - your house.

I'd go in alone to reach people. See, my goal was not to move here... let's just find out - if you've got saved, if I personally led you to Christ, please stand. If you've got saved in one of the church services here after I came, would you stand?

If someone from this church led you to Christ would you stand?

What’s wrong with the rest of you guys?

*laughter*

Thank you, you may be seated thank you.

So, here’s the deal: Nine years ago, it was brought to my attention that our youth pastor, brother Eric, was engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a young lady in our church.

They were both adults at this time - had she had been a minor I would have done what I have always done since we are mandatory reporters. I would call the police immediately file a report. Some of you have been in my office when I have made those hard phone calls.

I talked to Eric, sat down and said okay give me the whole story - you can't be changing the story every week - I need the whole story

He gave me the whole deal, I called the young lady - I will not mention her name tonight - I said, alright what's the story?

I wasn't there. All I could do was go with what I was told. I went to the parents of the girl, said what do you want me to do?

He seemed repentant.

Do you want me to fire him?

Do you want him to stand up publicly and confess it to the church?

Do you want the daughter to stand up publicly and confess it to the church?

If he confesses then everyone's going to wonder who the girl is.

I felt like he could be restored here.

I believed at that time according to Galatians 6:1, we could restore him after that meeting.

I put Eric on a very short leash. I don't go around airing everyone's counseling in front of the whole church I've never done it. Some of you've been in my office who've had affairs *amens* we didn't announce it

to the whole church.

*amen*

Eric, for a season, was no longer in the forefront - though I didn't announce it.

You might say, Oh I don't remember that - but he was not even leading the choir at that time.

Brother Jeffs was.

He did not teach Sunday school. He didn't travel. He had accountability on his phone. Counseling with his wife who said, I want to stick with him. Our narrowing was discussed and the counseling was very confidential.

Recently, however, this entire story has gotten out.

Some of the story is the same. Some has been enhanced.

So... he has lost his good name.

He has lost his credibility.

He can no longer be on staff.

Nor will he attend this church.

Nor will he serve in this church.

Say what you really want.

We have never swept minors sexual abuse under the rug.

There’s one post on the internet now by someone and they said something like this, when I was four years of age I lived in Napa I was molested and then it said I attended Hopewell Baptist Church.

It wasn't at the church

It was someone that had babysat them

Someone that hurt someone and then not long after that committed suicide.

That was never brought to me while that man was alive.

I apologize.

I sided on mercy

Hindsight's always 20/20 If I could go back and do some...

I just thought he could be restored.

I was informed recently about someone else having received some inappropriate text.

I had not heard that until this past week.

I got a phone call today from someone that said something else...

So, from henceforth we're gonna have some committees in our church it's going to be you see anything, or you think anything, you know anything - talk to them.

People will be very available to hear the story. You may have something else to add to this story.

We want to hear it. Document it. Write it all down there there may be things that come up about some of our members in the

future.

We want to deal with them - well those couple that we need to know

The Joneses, the Ritzes volunteer so far to help make up that committee.

The information you tell will be confidential. We’ll not share this information or publish it anywhere.

After the service tonight I could hang around a while until my body wears out. I will be at the front if you have any questions or something you feel is not... it's not totally ...

I want you to see this personally for just a moment.

Psalms 84 it says, "who passing through the valley.”

I don't know if you feel it but I'm in the valley tonight... deep valley.

My grandkids are.

My wife is.

My family.

You are.

Our church family is.

During COVID in the last four months, we’ve had the least amount of people saved in

our church's history.

It is turned down to almost nothing... more people are going to burn in hell.

We've got to get back at it.

We've got two choices tonight

We’ve got two choices

You can stay in this valley and for the rest of your life, say, man I gave up on God, I don't trust anybody...and I'll show them!

I'll let everybody go to hell.

I'll never serve the Lord.

Or you can give thanks through that valley.

There's more for all of us to do.

When I was in the hospital today I said,

Lord, I think you've got a few more things to do

...and that's what I want to do.

There's people I want to reach.

...

no bus riders. no bus kids. nobody surrendering to preach.

You can pass through it.

You say, I'm going to stay right here. Talk about it the rest of my life. I guarantee you, I know people are hurt. People say things.

But if Jesus would have been talked about as much as we talked about everything else this week, the whole world would be saved.

While I pray, let me encourage you to go through the valley. Go through it.

Is it gonna be easy for us? No.

A lot of years ago, someone got drunk, you’re trying to help them, they got help. But the whole world didn't know. Now everybody knows everything.

There’s something wrong.

Satan hates our church, he hates our church's name.

This has been a gospel station all these years. I'd like to stop it in its tracks.

It might stop you.

I want you to meditate on that passing through the valley.

We’ve got to get through this.

How long is it going to last? Years.

How long is it going to hurt? Rest of your life.

How long are you going to cry? Probably, if you are like me, every day.

How long are your kids gonna cry? Probably a lot.

It's been a hard season of my life.

Pray for me, for our family.

[[[PRAYING]]]

Father, bless this time...

we've got a great church with great people,

they love you.

People come to church with cancer, they come when their parents have cancer, buried their loved ones, many have broken hearts.

Some were so proud of their beating addictions - they are doing so good

...the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

Satan would love for a deadbolt to be on the doors and we turn into a bowling alley or dance hall...

goodnight...

please help us. Have mercy on us.

Thank You for grace.

Give courage to those that do need to come forward to tell someone ... this needs to be dealt with ...

In Jesus name, amen.

I'll be up here as long as I can stand.

Let’s get some music.

[Music]

AMBER ALVES (FORMER MEMBER): Are we serious? Okay what about ______________ who was molested by Eric as a minor? Anybody want to hear about that???

[Music volume increased]

Jack Schaap's Sexual Misconduct CONTINUES Behind Bars

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Mon, 22 Jun 2020 21:40:21 GMT

"In 2013 – the year after [Schaap] was sentenced by Judge Lozano – Defendant admitted putting his 'hand under [the] jacket and in the crotch area of a female visitor,' for which he was disciplined."

My jaw dropped when I read this section of United States Attorney, Thomas L. Kirsch's thorough slap down of Schaap's request for compassionate release. (You can hear about that request below if you have not already. If you are already familiar with it, keep reading.)

I don't know why I was so surprised – Schaap's is simply doing what he has always done. Lying, manipulating, and doing whatever it takes to feed his own impulses.

The prison's records fly in the face of Schaap's claims that he has been a "model prisoner."

The following is – in part – the government's reason for dismissing his motion.

"Defendant describes in detail the health challenges his parents are facing. Id. at 1. The government verified the accuracy of those claims by speaking directly with Defendant’s mother, who explained that although she and her husband have the means to move to an assisted living facility, she strongly prefers to remain at her home and hopes to be cared for by Defendant. Defendant makes additional claims in his motion, however, that the government does dispute . He claims he asked for a pre-indictment plea to “show [he] accepted full responsibility and to avoid a lengthy trial period which [he] felt would be detrimental to [his] congregation and to prevent any other staff personnel from being indicted.” Id. That statement is inaccurate in two respects. Defendant did not ask for a plea; rather, the government offered him a pre-indictment and he signed it after sitting through a presentation of the government’s overwhelming evidence of his guilt. Second, contrary to Defendant’s claim, there was never any chance that a member of his staff would be indicted . Although a staff member did drive the victim across state lines at Defendant’s request, that individual had no idea that he intended to engage in illicit sexual conduct with the girl once out of state. Accordingly, the staff member did not engage in criminal conduct of any kind. Similarly unconvincing is Defendant’s claim that he “did not know [he] was violating the law” at the time. Id. If that were true, why arrange for someone else to drive the victim across state lines? And why download a program specifically designed to delete photographs and then use it to destroy pictures of his sexual encounters with the victim? Further, it appears doubtful, given his failure to mention the victim in his motion and his attempt to USDC IN/ND case 2:12-cr-00131-TLS-PRC document 75 filed 06/19/20 page 6 of 13 7 blame the victim in his post-conviction petition, that Defendant truly does “realize the seriousness of [his] crime and accept[] responsibility for it,” as he now claims. Id. Finally, the government obtained evidence from the BOP that tends to refute Defendant’s claim that he has “strived to be a model prisoner” while incarcerated. See Exhibit 1, filed herewith. In 2013 – the year after he was sentenced by Judge Lozano – Defendant admitted putting his “hand under [the] jacket and in the crotch area of a female visitor,” for which he was disciplined. Id. And a year later, Defendant admitted “writing [a] letter and mailing [it] out of [the] facility [where he was housed] to be mailed back in.” Id. Interestingly, when confronted about this latter violation, Defendant “denied knowing it was not allowed” (id.) – much like he now claims that he “did not know [he] was violating the law” by arranging for someone else to transport a minor to Michigan and Illinois so he could have sex with her."

I'm thankful to see that the United States Attorney's Office is showing no leniency in this case.

Legal Jesus: How Churches (Mis)Handle Abuse

Sun, 14 Jun 2020 20:50:25 GMT

The following is a guest post submitted by author Rebekah Palmer. You may listen to Rebekah's interview on the Preacher Boys podcast here , or watch the video version here .

Nothing bad can ever happen to a person who believes in Jesus Christ.

Nothing bad can ever happen to a person who believes in Jesus Christ. This phrase rings in my ears and sticks to my gut even now as a 32 year old Christian. The first time someone from church insinuated Romans 8:28 meant that anything that had happened, happens, or will happen in a believer’s life is good was in 2002.

I was fourteen years old and had revealed for the first time that I had been sexually molested by my babysitter when I was around five years old. I was in attendance with other teenagers at a youth event hosted by a local church. I remember being overcome with guilt, but not what I felt guilty about. I remember a female team member from a bible college group hired by the youth event hosting church taking me aside because I was in tears after the service. I remember telling her about the

sexual things that had happened to me as a little girl. She may have read Romans 8:28 to me because that verse scripturally promises, not all events that happen are good, but promises that bad circumstances can result in unexpected goodness.

I was fourteen.

Romans 8:28 did not comfort me; it silenced me into survivor mode.

I felt it was my job as a Christian to pray for the day when the abuse I endured would be good. I felt it was my purpose to remain joyful and dismiss my abuser because the future of my life would be good. I felt I was to blame because as a believer in Jesus, sexual abuse, which is not good, happened to me. I decided to wait until God would make the abuse good.

After all, nothing bad can happen to a person who believes in Jesus Christ.

As Phil Johnson divulges in his session titled “Dead Right: The Failure of Fundamentalism”, fundamentalism within Christian denominations is large and varied and contains a myriad of differences from sect to sect. I would even add that fundamentalism within non-Christian religions is equally general and broad and varies depending on who the religious leaders are and what kind of authority they wield over their congregants.

This article deals with the Baptist and evangelical versions wherein fundamentalism has added extra-biblical teachings to general Baptist and evangelical believing church systems. The church I grew up in was part of the General Association of Regular Baptist Churches. When I was thirteen years old, the leadership of the church changed and the ministry became associated with the label independent and fundamental Baptist church.

What most Baptist or evangelical churches hold as major tenets of faith and practice are typically five-fold. The members believe the Bible is the Word of God and is applicable in all matters of faith and practice. If one is a church member, they must have publicly confessed their faith in Jesus Christ and have been baptized. The members believe in strict separation of church and state. The members do not go to a third party, such as a clergy member, to confess their sins but go directly to God through prayer. The church organizes itself and its members through local governance. Members need only to participate in two ordinances: baptism (one time after professing Christ) and communion (monthly, weekly, or whatever the local church has decided is appropriate for remembering Christ’s sacrifice on the cross).

When a new pastor was voted as the leader of my childhood church, the following four traditions of men involved in other churches labeled independent and fundamental were enforced: King James onlyism, strict adherence to male and female roles, education in the home, and infant discipline . King James Onlyism is the belief that the only Bible appropriate for English speaking people is the King James Version of scripture. All other English translations are fake messages influenced by the devil to deceive God’s chosen elect.

Strict adherence to male and female roles became scripturally defended by assigning dress codes to men and women based on 1940s gender fashions. For example, women were to be in dresses and skirts and men were to wear pants, never shorts.

Men are to be the provider for any women and children in their care. Women are to be caretakers of the men and children in their care.

Education in the home became preached from the pulpit as the evils of public school were denounced. Even the K-12 grade school that was previously attached to my childhood church began to lose students because Old Testament mandates of parents being responsible for their offspring’s education trumped any teacher educating good Christian family’s children.

Infant discipline was recommended as a way to control a child’s will before they reached the age of accountability. This was to somehow make parenting easier when children became teenagers. Much of Charles Dickens cultural interpretation of “spare the rod and spoil the child” ethics were pounded from the pulpit.

Back when I was 14, the female team member from the bible college advised me to tell the pastor of my church what had happened to me, especially since the babysitter that had molested me was at that time also a member of the same church my family was.

I told the pastor-at-the-time in his office. I was fourteen and the babysitter was now around twenty-two. I was enrolled at the school in my church. The pastor decided he would counsel me and the babysitter separately for this reason: to not hurt either of our families. I graduated from the church school in 2005 and went on to attend Bible college of like-faith majoring in secondary Christian education. I worked a front desk reception position on a work scholarship program. With this responsibility came training meetings dealing with the security of the college students. Emphasis was given on protecting female students because if an alleged rapist entered the building, the college and the pastor’s reputation would be ruined forever. Nothing was ever mentioned about how such a dastardly deed affects a victim’s life or that of his or her family. Actually, a victim referred to as “he” was never mentioned because of the pervasive belief that women are the only victims of sex crimes.

It was at this independent and fundamental labeled Baptist college that I learned about other traditions of men taught in churches of Baptist and evangelical faiths. In addition to separation of church and state, a social separation from culture was to be maintained. Including, but not limited to, no attendance in public movie theaters, no

dancing, and no listening to rock music which was taught as having an addictive beat w hich would lead to fulfilling lusts of the flesh.

A woman’s role was not only to be contained in the home, but also to be managed in the home her whole life. If she had no father to submit to, she was to have a husband to submit to. If she had no husband, she was to take advice from her male pastor. Women caused men to sin when they dress immodestly, which is why within a fundamentalist church community, men would remain pure until their wedding day unless a woman tempted them into impurity. Women were solely responsible for any sexual happenings surrounding their mind, heart, and body.

A few days into my freshman year, I remember filling out a background check to work within the church ministry as a college student. This background check did not include finger prints administered by civil authority, but it did include questions uncovering my history as a child who had been molested.

Revealing my past used to be incredibly shaming. I cringed to tell it then because it often became the reason adults gave me for my lack of faith as well as the origin of my guilt before God. The adult I told would then typically explain this was why I could not be happy and accept that I was to be a good wife to a man someday. My depression and anxiety were treated as sins instead of mental and emotional states that could have been treatable earlier on in my life. My depression and anxiety were rarely normalized as conditions adults who have been abused in childhood sometimes live with, and rarely was the events of my childhood attributed as evil behavior an abuser committed.

Coincidently, I again encountered another predator at the church I attended while enrolled in Bible college. As is consistent with findings from students with similar experiences at other fundamentalist colleges, and reported by Claire Gordan in her online article posted with Al Jazeera News, “ How the Fortress of Fundamentalism Handles

S exual Assault ”, placing blame and shame on the abused is the norm for many Baptist and

evangelical colleges.

“‘The typical response to sexual abuse is first they need to forgive their abuser, and second is that they shouldn’t talk about it or it will hurt the cause of Christ,’ says Jeffrey Hoffman, who attended BJU's [Bob Jones University] elementary,

junior high and high school. He says he was molested by his Sunday school teacher, and BJU staff member, in a shower stall on church premises when he was 10 or 11 years old.”

Twisted purity, obedience, and forgiveness allowed so many to believe that sexual assault was only a secular problem and not one that could exist in a Christian institution. Claire Gordan also revealed in her article: "You have girls who don’t know what body parts are called, let alone what sex is," says Beth Murschell, who graduated BJU in 1992. "I know a girl who didn’t realize what happened was rape; she thought it happened to everyone."

This is congruent to my own experience as I remember another student at Bible college telling me about another girl who thought couples had children because they prayed by their bedside at night. Similar to other students in fundamentalist educational bastions, students were trained to think the outside world was corrupt, and we were incorruptible, so we had no need to discuss mental illness, sex, drugs, alcohol, and sexual orientations.

I did not consciously realize what happened to me as a small child was abuse until my mother gave me the talk about my changing body when I was about ten years old. I remember feeling scared, but not vocalizing to my mother I had already experienced some of what mothers and fathers did when making a baby. I had two childhood surgeries to correct rickets, a kidney transplant, and a bout with childhood cancer from the ages of eleven to thirteen and did not speak up until I was fourteen at that aforementioned youth event.

Because my mind and heart was so focused on pleasing the authority that was allegedly God-ordained to protect me, I held onto my wrong understanding of Romans 8:28 and remained silent. I did tell my sordid tale to eight ministry workers total

associated with churches self-identified as independent and fundamental: the female team member at the youth event, my youth pastor’s wife, my pastor, a Reformers Unanimous Addictions worker, a deacon, the college dean of women, a professor at the Bible college, and a missionary’s wife. Eight. Eight adults I told between the ages of fourteen and

twenty-four and not one of them took me to any police station to file a report. Some had their own tales of abuse and parroted church teachings back to me. I had even offered support in like manner to peers who came to me with stories similar to mine.

Finally at age twenty-four, I told a pastor of a non-denominational church and later I also told his wife. They were able to lead me to a licensed, Christian therapist.

I wondered how on this earth a whole religion and whole congregations of people, especially those who claimed they were trained to minister to people, could overlook the evil of sex crimes, and ignore bestowing love on their parishioners?

My mother recently found some legal paperwork that was passed out to my childhood church congregation back in 2004 for the purpose of alerting the congregation why certain dialogue would take place and questions would be asked to candidates volunteering for children’s ministries. The title of the legal document is “Seven Steps to R educe the Risk of Child Abuse Allegations”.

By using the word “allegations”, instead of wishing to reduce the risk of child abuse, this document’s goal is not in the interest of reducing child rape and molestation. This document is in the interest of silencing the voices of those that would report such actions due to the refusal of independent and fundamental church leaders to comply with local police authorities.

Claire Jones cites in her article a reason I have observed secular universities, at least, are aware sexual crimes are being committed: “It’s impossible to get accurate

sexual assault statistics about any campus; it’s an extraordinarily underreported crime.

But under federal law, colleges must collect and disclose the best numbers they can...”

Independent and fundamental churches create their own schools from daycare to the college level and keep them unaccredited under the guise of protection from corruptible secular influence. In reality, this also keeps federal law from mandating collecting and disclosing data on sexual abuse/

community.

Ironically, the legal ministry that penned “Seven Steps to Reduce the Risk of Child Abuse Allegations” has links to the Bible college I graduated from in 2010. I have no way of going back to any board of directors to report any sexual harassment or abuse that occurred during my time there.

“Seven Steps to Reduce the Risk of Child Abuse Allegations” consists of three a rticles:

• “How to Destroy Your Name, Your Family, Your Church, and the Name of Jesus

Christ”.

• “Lawsuits by Victims against the Church”

• “Seven Steps to Reduce the Risk of Child Abuse Allegations”

The first article reads “How to Destroy Your Name, Your Family, Your Church, and the Name of Jesus Christ”. According to the title’s wording, being a victim of a sex crime or reporting a sex crime puts someone in danger of bringing down the very name of God Almighty, a high prejudice indeed. Article one places the wrong on the preyed upon, and not the predator. The definitions of sins get exploited by abusers as it is easy to get their victims to believe they had a part in the wrongdoing and must answer for it as well, if they are to tell clergy what was done to them. In an environment where the predator’s actions are dismissed and the victim’s identity becomes the problem, many children’s voices have been hushed deep into adulthood, and many never will tell.

As negative examples are made of church authorities indicted in molestation charges, the document casts suspicion on legislators who would demand clergy make mandatory reports of allegations of child sex abuse by suggesting: “These statutes [clergy mandatory reporting] raise serious constitutional concerns”.

Article one continues to play into the fear of parishioners by claiming since the Roman Catholic Church legal dispute, it is profitable for litigators to sue churches. I nstead of seeing the consequences met and the added safety brought to Catholic dioceses from investigating, the article capitulates on victim identity of the congregation, and ignores the children whose adult lives are forever altered due to sexual abuse: “One of the unintended consequences of the Roman Catholic church child molestation and cover-up scandal was the creation of a profitable new cottage industry in the legal profession-suing

churches for allowing priests to molest children and for failure to report child abuse allegations.”

The real concern of this document is laid out in article one’s final wrap-up: “If your church has not yet taken effective measures to help reduce the likelihood of child abuse allegations and investigations, Lighthouse Legal Ministries next provides you with the “Seven Steps to Reduce the Risk of Child Abuse Allegations” (this refers to the steps within the third article under the same title). Protection of the church legally is more imperative than protection of the children and vulnerable persons within the flock of God.

The second article headlines: “Lawsuits by Victims against the Church”. The article outlines two concerns the church has: could victims sue the church as well as the pastor? Was the church responsible for the actions of the pastor?

The document lists damages done to children who have been abused and a state- by-state review of lawsuits. Underneath the claims for damages in child molestation cases, the accusatory rhetoric continues: “To better understand the issue of child sex abuse, and why juries award huge verdicts, and why well-heeled churches settle for huge amounts, consider the following summation from the recent OSBA [Ohio School Board Association] course on ‘Calculating Damages in Child Sex Abuse Cases’.”

The article directs the reader to understand why reward is given to the whistle- blowers, as if the only reason a person would report an abuse case is the benefits, instead of the reason being accountability/punishment for the predator and healing for the victim.

The article lists damages lawyers supposedly come up with for the purpose of milking financial award to victims of sex crimes. These will be listed by name later in this article (another list by OSBA).

The third article takes on the whole document’s title and reads “Seven Steps to

Reduce the Risk of Child Abuse Allegations”. The ministry recommendation to reduce

the risk of people speaking out consists of these seven steps:

1. Recognize the Elephant in the Sanctuary

This means, number one to them, the most common gender of child molesters is male. They claim to suspect all males ages 12 to 120 based on age and authority in the church. Why are males ages 12 to 25 in any kind of sole authority in a church? Am I to assume no females can exhibit predatory behavior? The high demands on female purpose as familial eliminate the female sexual predator completely, as it encourages the pubescent to elderly male to be the aggressor and perpetrator. While the independent and fundamental teachings insist homosexuals to be, by nature, the only perverts in society, their willingness to stereotype straight men ages 12 to 120 here is a back handed way for them to prove the rightness of inherent heterosexuality in placing blame on the male gender solely. While research and statistics show a higher percentage among pedophiles to identify as male, this does not translate the whole population of males to be identified as pedophilic.

2. Develop Congregational Awareness

The document calls reports of sexual abuse scandals, instilling more fear by relaying to the congregation that they can legally be held responsible. Step two includes the paragraph, “Your church may wish to publish a bulletin insert, such as the sample below, drafted for Independent Baptist (self-identified) churches. Before using, keep in mind the sensitive nature of the topic discussed.”

The sample is headed “What Our Independent Baptist Church Can Do to Help Prevent the Scandal of Child Sex Abuse” and states, “Independent Baptist churches are rightfully outraged at the continuing allegations of Roman Catholic priests sexually molesting boys and girls. After all, children are our most precious resource, our hope for a brighter tomorrow, a hope that is darkened by their sexual exploitation by wicked priests.”

Nothing is all this offers congregants of independent and fundamental churches to do because it is the Roman Catholic denomination that has blood on their hands, not theirs.

Priests are wicked, but not ministry leaders in a self-identified independent and fundamental or evangelical church. A child who is abused is part of a scandal, turning them into something dirty and ugly, and has become a mere possession, not a soul.

3. Respond Properly to Criticism

This step includes an outline of a program that can be shared with the congregation. It is another three tiered list that blames legalized abortion, secularized Christians, and unguarded churches.

The logic behind blaming child abuse on the prevalence of abortion clinics is equated with society’s view of the most disposable of lives: a fetus. The logic behind blaming secularized Christians is secularism causes Christians to sin, instead of the wickedness of their own hearts (which is what the scriptures actually teach). Apparently, any sex outside of legal marriage, though consensual, leads to child sexual assault. The logic behind unguarded churches is the realization that pedophiles go where unsupervised children are.

After this bit of truth, indeed pedophiles go where there is uninhibited access to minors, the document reads: “You must admit that the child abuse scandals in Roman Catholic churches have created a heightened awareness of child abuse allegations in our society.” Alas, the recanting of accusing secular institutions throwing away children’s lives because the church does it too, is only too good to be true because this document decides to address how to handle church members who are “turned off” by discussing screening church workers for the protection of children in the service of the Lord.

The Ohio School Board Associations (previously mentioned) listing of damages in child molestation cases is as follows: damage to childhood, damage to personal relationships, damage to family relationships, damage to business relationships, damage to educational/career opportunities, damage to marriage partner/companion relationships, damage in sexual intimacy, damage in mental and physical health, and damage to spirituality. These were previously listed under Article II as reasons for claims by sketchy lawyers trying to sue money out of the church, instead of appropriately listed as

researched and studied consequences when a child is abused.

Apparently, members of churches that are independent and fundamental care more about their uncomfortable feelings in discussion preventing child sexual abuse than in actually caring about the adult lives of those who survive being abused sexually as children.

4. Develop and Implement Appropriate Screening Procedures

For the independent and fundamental church, these often do come in place since the pastor wishes to retain his kingdom of control over his congregation and local community. The clincher here is the question: were you a victim of abuse or

molestation as a child? If the applicant answers, yes, he or she must undergo further counseling with the pastor before determination of eligibility to work in youth ministries is made by the church. There is no recommendation for further counseling with a licensed therapist or psychiatrist, but adamant and forceful counseling with the pastor of the church, who we have seen, has little to no desire to help those who have been abused. This mandate of counseling, especially with vulnerable people, is another way for the independent and fundamental church authority to further victimize an already hurt soul.

5. Develop and Implement Appropriate Procedures to Reduce the Risk of Child Abuse Allegations

Six additional rules of appropriate procedures for the independent and fundamental church are listed under number five: maintaining strict authority, removing all touch between males and females especially adult males and children, including more than one s upervisor when with minors, maintaining accurate records, and communicating with parents. Many of these rules are common sense as far as accountability between adult transference of care of children: the adults plan the activities; the adults supervise the children; the adults schedule and coordinate with each other and the parents whose

children are involved.

The restrictive aspect of all touch between males and females is quite alarming and isolating. All physical touch is not sexual. After all, how does one change a diaper or soothe a crying child? In order for more healthy males to exist, male children should receive equal affection as their female peers. Touch is imperative to nurturing children.

6. Properly Supervise Church Workers

7. Develop Proper Reporting Policies and Procedures

These last two steps in this document are repetitive in appropriate procedures. There is an overemphasis on establishing a chain of command in training those who supervise the children who participate in church activities. The document even lists reporting to the state as only an option due to many states in America making mandatory reporters of suspicious behavior to be the job of clergy.

The wording again recants this excellent advice of reporting to the state by claiming “Regardless of the state law on mandatory reporting, a pastor always has a spiritual duty to protect his flock...” which again puts the value on how the congregants and pastor are feeling over the child and his or her family.

Claire Jones’ article states “Sexual abuse commonly occurs when there is a power dynamic to be exploited”. The reasons behind abuse in Christian-labeled institutions have nothing to do with human sexual desire or attraction, but with power and control over the people it supposedly seeks to help. Harming people in the guise of Christian ethics has defamed the name of Christ more than any man, woman, or child who has come forward and shared his or her story of surviving sexual assault .

Romans 8:28 reads “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” The verse never implies Christians only experience good things. The verse describes things (whether these are good or bad or in between is not clarified) working together for the good of those who

love God, who are called by God for his purposes.

The entire chapter of Romans 8 focuses on those who walk after the Spirit of Christ. This chapter claims Christ’s love keeps those in the Spirit inseparable from their creator God. Those who walk after the Spirit of Christ display the following fruits: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance

(Galatians 5:22).

For twelve plus years I was convinced I was the problem because the abuse I endured was harsh. For twelve plus years I was convinced the faith I trusted more than anything in this world condemned me for tempting men. For twelve plus years I was convinced forgiveness meant I was not to speak of the treatment I received at the hands of so-called spiritual authority. I turned the other cheek so many times my mouth would not open even in my own defense.

When I learned that taking ancient biblical texts out of context is the first rule of theological error in Bible College, I wondered why the denomination I had aligned with believed so many traditions of men. As Martin Luther, of Roman Catholicism in the 1500s studied the bible and nailed his 95 thesis describing heresy forced onto the people by the controlling church of the day, started the Protestant Reformation and kicked into gear removal of religion controlling the state, I challenge any independent and fundamental congregation whose culture mirrors this article to correct their prideful and sinful ways; to get rid of any extra-biblical teachings; denounce the works of darkness hidden in their pews; and to apologize to those children, women, men, and families hurt by unholy church decisions. May our Lord Jesus Christ, the God of hope, peace, and love be with us all in this church age. Amen.

This guest article was written by Rebekah Palmer.

You can find more of her writing on:

www.rebapalmer87.wixsite.com/authorrebekahpalmer
www.cystinosisociety.wordpress.com

patientworthy.com

https://www.rareiscommunity.com/2020/04/10/disability-in-rare-spaces/

You can connect with Rebekah on:

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/Rebekah-palmer-08685647

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1052855.Rebekah_Palmer

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pg/WomanofJairus/about

You can purchase Rebekah's books on Aneko Press and Amazon

Birds of a Feather Flock Together

Sun, 03 May 2020 06:41:29 GMT

Bob Gray, Sr . is a former IFB pastor and currently beloved IFB evangelist.

He has written two books celebrating known adulterer and deceptive cult-leader, Jack Hyles . He has even stood in public defense of known pedophiles like Bill Winninger .

Today, he tweeted about a book he received – and the string of connections to corrupt IFB pastors is... well, staggering.

Bob Gray, Sr . is obviously a disturbing figure by himself, but the book he is promoting is from Bruce Goddard .

Bruce Goddard was in mediation just a few weeks ago with multiple victims because of his negligence in addressing numerous cases of sexual abuse within his church. The abuses cases stretch over several decades

Bruce Goddard 's book was published by Berean Publications in Jacksonville, FL.

Berean Publications is a ministry of Immanuel Baptist Church.

Immanuel Baptist Church is pastored by Greg Neal.

Greg Neal is an alleged voyeur who hid a camera in a church office to film women changing . "The evidence of his crimes of voyeurism in 2001 is overwhelming," an assistant state attorney said in 2011. "Unfortunately, the statute of limitations has expired.”

Greg Neal 's father, Tom Neal , stood alongside Bob Gray, Sr ., Jack Hyles , David Gibbs , Jack Trieber , and several other prominent IFB preachers in defending pedophile, Bill Winninger. (What a legacy.)

Until recently, Berean Publications was ran by Greg Neal 's former assistant pastor, Cameron Giovanelli .

Cameron GIovanelli was just released from prison for sexual misconduct with a minor .

So, to sum up – a pedophile-defender is promoting a book written by a pedophile-defending pastor, published by a perverted voyeuristic pastor who employs and defends pedophiles.

For men who call themselves "Independent" Baptists, they seem to be very connected when it comes to preying on the vulnerable and protecting abusers.

Birds of a feather, indeed.

They Don't Look Like Monsters: How Pedophiles Hide in the Church

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Mon, 20 Apr 2020 07:57:57 GMT

"We think sex offenders are monsters and surely we would recognize a monster, wouldn't we?"

These words come from the introduction of Anna C. Salter's book, Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders .

The paragraph surrounding it jumped off the page to me, and it was incredibly powerful in light of the work I have been doing to expose abuse taking place specifically within Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches.

"Sex offenders only very rarely sneak into a house in the middle of the night. More often they come through the front door in the day, as friends and neighbors, as Boy Scout leaders, priests, principals, teachers, doctors, and coaches. They are invited into our homes time after time, and we give them permission to take our children on the overnight camping trips, the basketball game, or down to the Salvation Army post for youth activities.

We give permission because we don't recognize these people as predators, because we think sex offenders are monsters and surely we would recognize a monster, wouldn't we? That nice young minister who runs all the youth programs, the one with the crooked smile and the thatch of brown hair over his brow, the one who visits the elderly and gives the poor money from his own funds – surely not him. He could not be a child molester with ninety victims while he's still in his twenties. That good-looking, polite young man who just wants to see the motorcycle for sale in the back yard. Surely he couldn't be a rapist with a knife in his hip pocket waiting for you to turn your back to pull the cover off."

The reality is indeed scarier than any fictional monster Hollywood could come up with. Horror director, George A. Romero, once famously said, “I’ve always felt that the real horror is next door to us, that the scariest monsters are our neighbors."

We don't want to believe that the evangelist standing behind the pulpit could be a predator, or that the Christian school basketball coach is a rapist, or that the friendly bus captain has ulterior motives – but we have to be aware of that possibility.

Like any animal, human predators often disguise themselves. Blending into the surroundings and awaiting the right time. The only difference is that their camouflage might be a suit and tie or neatly combed hair.

This is why it's somewhat understandable why so many refuse to believe allegations made against someone within the IFB.

"How could I have been duped?"

"If they're so wicked, why do they spend so much on missions each year?"

"I almost sent my daughter to his college, I did my research and would have noticed if something was wrong."

No one wants to believe that they fell for a predators disguise, and, more importantly, they don't want to believe that a predator could even exist within their separated, safe, righteous, religious bubble.

With the nature of my work exposing abuse within the IFB movement, I've been met with objections just like this.

The truth is, you don't need to feel ashamed or guilty that you didn't personally identify something wrong. No one else did either. That's how so many predators often slip by undetected for so long.

Just don't let your pride or shock keep you in that space. Instead, reflect on the situation. What can you learn?

In retrospect, what signs WERE there that something wasn't right? Did the person have any unique traits or actions that you might look out for moving forward?

I am NOT saying that everyone who shares any trait with someone who was found guilty is guilty – do NOT misunderstand me. Do not make major assumptions based on a tic you picked up on or a weird gut feeling you had. I'm simply saying to be vigilant and QUESTION your environment and the people in it beyond face value.

Furthermore, take compassion on the victim. They fell for the same disguise or trap as you – only they were met with physical harm. Not because they were dumb, or gullible, or "asking for it."

Monsters almost never look like monsters.

Business as Usual: Cameron Giovanelli is Back to Offer Spiritual Guidance

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 02:04:24 GMT

He's back...

Cameron Giovanelli has quietly resumed posting articles on his website. The site had been dormant since September of last year, as Giovanelli faced trial for sexual abuse of a minor. Giovanelli has been out of prison for mere weeks, and he's already attempting to slither back into a position of spiritual authority.

Who is Cameron Giovanelli?

In case you are unfamiliar with the Giovanelli case, here is a quick rundown.

What is Cameron Giovanelli doing now?

Giovanelli was released just over a month ago from the correctional facility and has begun his five year probation period.

He is currently home with his wife and three children, and began publishing to his blog on April 2, 2020.

He has since written two articles, Four Thoughts About the “Remnant” and A Fountain of Life .

His bio has also been edited.

In August, 09, 2019 , it read – "With close to 20 years in the ministry, Cameron has held the title of fundamentalist pastor, youth pastor, assistant pastor, and college president. He is currently serving at Immanuel Baptist Church in Jacksonville, FL as asst. pastor & director of Berean Publications."

As of April 19, 2019, it simply reads – "Happily married to Sarah G, the father of three incredible children."

What does the future hold for Cameron Giovanelli?

Is this an attempted baby-step back toward ministry by Giovanelli? Many with the IFB have maintained a defensive posture on behalf of Giovanelli – as pointed out by Pastor Stacey Shiflett in a recent sermon. Shiflett is the current pastor of Calvary Baptist Church and has been an outspoken voice against abuse within Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches. His book, Wolves Among Lambs , details his own experiences as a victim of sexual abuse as well as the issue of sexual abuse within the IFB denomination.

We will have to wait and see if any church or college will follow through on their defensive language and accept Giovanelli back into the ministry fold. I personally won't be shocked if and when it happens.

How to Safely Exit a Domestic Violence Situation

skwarczynskifilms@gmail.com (Eric Skwarczynski) — Fri, 17 Apr 2020 10:11:50 GMT

"If a spouse or child is being abused, what's the safest way to make that exit?"

I asked this question to Zack & Heather Knight , both former law enforcement officers who worked heavily with victims of human trafficking and domestic violence. Now, they run a non-profit called "Surviving to Thriving" that helps equip survivors of domestic violence with the tools they need to overcome and THRIVE.

Their answers were extremely practical and extremely important, so I decided to condense and compile them for this article. If you'd prefer to listen to the information, you can tune in below.

How to Plan:

Find somebody that you trust. Someone you're able to talk to about that situation. If possible, arrange for somewhere to go for at least that first night.

Do research to find a nearby emergency or the closest police station. If you walk into any police department and inform them you need a domestic violence shelter – as long as your over the age of 18 – they will direct you to the right location.

What to Pack:

Make a a go-bag.

Pack essentials . The shelter will have toiletries like shampoo, toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, etc. Just grab your passport, a pair of clothes, and credit cards. If you're being closely monitored by an abusive spouse, you probably won't have cash, but if you are getting a allowance from your spouse and they are not checking exactly how much money you're spending, try to save something – even a dollar or two at a time – and build up $40 to $50 to have for that first night.

If you don't have a way to start getting money, just leave. At some point you'll be able to build that fund up. Most times when you get to the shelter, they have more resources there.

When to Leave:

Pay close attention to your spouse's routine. When they leave for a routine activity – work, gym, etc. – wait ten to fifteen minutes to ensure they didn't forget something last minute that would bring them back home suddenly. Exit the home.

Why You Should NOT Go Back Home:

When people leave and come back, there's always a form of punishment involved and it escalates the situation.

If you leave and come back, it's going to be worse.

This is why preparation is so important. If you're not properly prepared for your exit, you might fall on your face or not have the necessary resources lined up. This leads many to return to their abuser or end up in another similar situation.

Go somewhere sustainable, find a resource that will help like Surviving to Thriving in the Atlanta area, and have that plan in place for you to succeed.

What to Do If You Have Children:

If you have children, take them with you. Do not leave them in the home. T he abuser can use that as collateral.

Most emergency shelters allow kids with them. That first night, don't worry about legal ramifications for taking your kid with you. Because the topic of domestic abuse has become such a prevalent thing, a police officer is not going to send you back to your household to continue being abused. They will allow you to stay separated until proceedings happen. When you get to the shelter, they'll call DEFACS or CPS who will do an evaluation and then set up supervised visitations with the kids and your partner because they still do have parental rights.

What to Do If You're Under 18 and Both Parents Are Abusive:

Most police departments take it very seriously when a kid comes in and makes an allegation.

However, if your county is not as progressive, stand your ground. Really dig in and say, "I don't want to go back," over and over again. Do not let them convince you to go back into the home until DEFACS or CPS comes out or somebody comes and does an evaluation at your house

Be very adamant about it. If your parents are really good at manipulation, they may try to convince police officers that nothing needs to be done.

Don't allow your parents to manipulate the police officers. Obviously, the best thing to do is have evidence. But try to come in with – at least – documentation. Try keeping a daily journal of abuse – ensuring it's hidden somewhere your parents will not see it. At least that's something that you can bring to the police and say, "I've been writing everything that's happened to me for the last three months. Can you please do something about it?"

DEFACS and CPS are under such a light right now that they're trying hard not to let people fall through the cracks.

If you can't get to the police on your own, there are mandated reporters. These are people that you can go to that are mandated by law to report domestic violence of any sort. So that could include sexual abuse, domestic abuse, anything along those lines.

Your teachers, principal, doctors, nurses at school are all mandated reporters.

Just keep in mind, if you are attending a private IFB church or school where the teacher or principal is likely disobey mandates like this or report back to your parents, try to wait and find a third party like a doctor or nurse who are guaranteed to follow through.

Whether you read this for yourself or to learn how to better assist a friend, hope this article helped you better understand how to escape a domestic abuse situation.

If you have more questions, I definitely encourage you to reach out to Heather and Zack at Surviving to Thriving.

You can message them here:

https://www.facebook.com/ToThrivingAtl/

If you are not currently a victim of domestic abuse but appreciate the work Surviving to Thriving is doing to prevent abuse and equip survivors with the tools they need to thrive, please consider donating toward their mission by visiting https://tothriving.org/

Dress Your Best for the Preacher Boy: The IFB & Modesty

Fri, 17 Apr 2020 07:42:47 GMT

"Big women shouldn't strut around in stretch britches showing their big. FAT. SELF!"

For the casual outsider from the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church, this is probably the last quote you'd expect to hear from behind the pulpit of a church.

For anyone inside the IFB, this type of language is par for the course.

The quote above is from Evangelist Larry Brown – if the name sounds vaguely familiar, you may recognize him as the one who smashed a television with an axe on the stage of First Baptist Church of Hammond.

If you were unaware that someone did that... well, Larry Brown did indeed smash a television with an axe on the stage of First Baptist Church of Hammond .

Anyway, we aren't here to talk about smashing televisions with axes. We're here to talk about a favorite buzzword among the IFB – "modesty."

In the IFB, generally "modesty" means a few basic things – skirts below the knee, no slits, no spaghetti straps, no cleavage, no open toe shoes, no two-piece bathing suits...et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And, if you haven't noticed by the short preceding list, there's a tendency to emphasize "female modesty" specifically – because women are FAR more capable of being attractive than men. Right?

But what's more fascinating than the "what" is the "why" of these dress standards.

Here are a few quick takeaways from consuming ample amounts of IFB preaching on modesty.

SEXUAL REPRESSION IS A REAL THING.

The thing you find yourself talking about A LOT is probably the thing you are thinking about A LOT, and IFB pastors can tend to spend a LOT of time talking about the female form.

Take a look at prominent IFB evangelist Larry Brown's big argument against "short shorts."

Let's break down the message here:

"I thank God I didn't have a mama and grandmama strut around in their big, stretch britches , showing their big fat self .

I was coming down South Avenue, one day, and I had my mind on my business and I looked over there and there was a woman over there and a very, very, very large woman . I mean, she was wearing a shirt, said 'Home of the Whopper.' I mean she had already been supersized.

I looked over there and she had on shorts and, you know, I want to tell you what, beautiful, wonderful, women come in ALL shapes and sizes , say 'amen' right there. But for the life of me, why – especially – very large women want to expose it and emphasize it and modify it , I don't know. I looked over there, she had her back to me and was bent over . There were gobs and rolls everywhere . And, I don't look back again, but I'll tell you, I had to take a rerun on this one because I really thought it was an elephant with diaper on when I first saw it. I really did. I mean, God have mercy."

The argument against “immodest” clothing is not because it shows too much, it’s because what it shows is not appealing to the preacher boy at the pulpit.

The sexual frustration is so painfully evident, and the amount of detailed attention paid to the female form by pastors and evangelists like Larry Brown should be a major alarm to the congregation.

I shouldn't have to say this, but when an evangelist spends a full 1:27 seconds behind the pulpit critiquing a woman’s butt that he had to "take a rerun on," and the response of your pastor is to just sit behind him and laugh, walk out of the service.

This isn't isolated either. Jack Schaap, now incarcerated for engaging in sexual intercourse with a minor, constantly preached about how women should keep their figure for the man they married.

One of the IFB founding fathers, Jack Hyles, constantly made sly innuendos and sexual comments from the pulpit – even toward minors. (See 1:35-2:05 of the following video):

FAR TOO MANY ASSUME WOMEN ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MEN'S THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS.

"I've counseled too many men to know that if we don't have everything covered just right, they aren't going to be thinking about the wonderful grace of Jesus." – Paul Chappell

This way of thinking is a key reason that female victims of sexual assault and rape are so often blamed for it. When you are automatically assigned the role of temptress because of your gender, the man will ALWAYS be looked at as the victim – even when he is, in reality, the abuser.

Rape can happen to anyone, anywhere, in any setting and it doesn't matter how long or short your skirt is, how much your blouse covers you, or whether or not you wear high heels, 100% of the blame should be placed on the shoulders of the one who made the chose to violate another person.

There is no such thing as "asking for it."

I separately interviewed two women recently for upcoming episodes of the Preacher Boys podcast . Because of strict IFB teachings regarding women, the first had blamed herself for her rape. She thought if she had worn different clothes, been in a different spot, or acted differently she could have prevented it. The reality was, she was wearing scrubs with no makeup, was in her car after a long shift.

Sadly, it wasn't until years later she realized how the teachings she'd grown up with had skewed her thinking.

The other person I talked to was sexually assaulted three times – once every ten years across two different churches, with each time being covered up by whichever she was attending at the time. That's a pretty definite pattern, and it speaks more to the forms of churches she was affiliated with than to her.

These anecdotes and countless others fly in the face of the type of victim blaming IFB preachers have engaged in for decades.

THE BEST WAY TO DRAW ATTENTION AWAY FROM YOUR SCANDALS IS TO CAST SHAME ON OTHERS.

In Jack Schaap's chilling final sermon , he called out parents for not raising their teens correctly, for being unaware of their teens sneaking out and having sex, and a host of other issues.

The tragic irony, Schaap had been preying on a 15-year-old girl in the church for well over a year.

He would be in prison just weeks after that message.

For many pastors in the spotted history of Baptist fundamentalism, the strong language in the pulpit has been a mere deflection from their personal transgressions.

Why Faith Baptist Church of Wildomar is a Safe Haven for Abusers

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 09:52:36 GMT

UPDATED June 15, 2022

Bruce Goddard and his church, Faith Baptist Church, are in hot water...

There have been a significant number of allegations of sexual misconduct made against FBC Wildomar, especially considering the small size of the church. Just yesterday, victims of sexual abuse spent 6 hours attempting to reach some form of settlement, to no avail.

None of these cases is a coincidence. The church has a history of abuse, has developed and perpetuated a culture of abuse, and they've chosen a very specific legal team to defend their abuse.

The History of Abuse

1991 and 1992 – Paul Fox engages in sexual relationships with minors, guilting them into silence. Upon discovering this situation, Pastor Bruce Goddard allegedly ordered Fox to leave the state.

1998-2013 – Youth Pastor Malo “Victor” Monteiro began sexually preying on three teenage girls. Rachel Peach was 15 years old, Lea Ramirez left the church at 15 due to several advances, and April Avila was groomed from the age of 14 and eventually became a victim of sexual abuse.

2013 – Monteiro leaves Faith Baptist Church to start a new church, Menifee Baptist Church.

2016 – Monteiro suddenly leaves Menifee Baptist Church for undisclosed reasons.

2017 – Jerald Arnold Nelson is arrested for possession of child pornography.

2021 – Long-time member, Henry Abott was taken into custody by Temecula Police for attempting to solicit sex from a minor.

2021 – Paul Fox gets two years in prison for sexual assault of a minor

(sources can be found on preacherboysdoc.com/abuser-database)

The Culture of Abuse

The church has a history of both allegations and documented evidence of protecting abusers.First, you have Bruce Goddard allegedly failing to report Laverne Paul Fox's sexual misconduct with minors in 1992 and urging him to leave the state.

This story was used as leverage over Victor Monterio's victims. Victor calmly reminded Rachel Peach that "preacher won't do anything."

But refusing to report abuse is not some unwritten rule at Faith Baptist Church. It is literally a written one.

In January 2020, a former member and victim of abuse from Faith Baptist Wildomar shared the church's three page "Whistle-blower Policy."

The instructions are crystal clear:

"A supervisor who becomes aware of suspected misconduct should not report the case to an authorized law enforcement officer without first discussing the case with the Pastor, appointed Deacon, Staff Member, or Female Reporter."

It also doesn't help that the church borrows teaching liberally from the church known for it's abuse scandals – FIrst Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana. The church is currently advertising a class for young girls called Blue Denim & Lace, based on a book originally developed by cult leader, adulterer, and defender of abusers, Jack Hyles.

The Defenders of Abuse

To anyone who is familiar with the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement, it should come as no shock that, where there is church abuse, the Christian Law Association will often come to the defense – not of the victim, but of the church, of course.

David Gibbs, Jr.'s long-trusted "legal ministry" has been helping IFB churches fight allegations of sexual abuse since the days of Jack Hyles. The years have changed, but Gibb's speeches haven't...

Future Abuse?

Will this current legal battle make any change in the patterns of abuse at Faith Baptist Church? Will it mark just another chapter in the churches dotted history? Only time will tell.

All we can do right now is shout the truth as loudly as we can.