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Hopewell Baptist Church Meeting Regarding Abuse (6.25.20) FULL TRANSCRIPT

Eric Skwarczynski • Jun 26, 2020

On June 25, 2020, Pastor Mike Ray held a closed meeting to address multiple allegations of abuse at Hopewell Baptist Church in Napa, CA.

The meeting lasted only 13 minutes and no victims or family members of victims were given an opportunity to speak.

What follows is the transcript of the meeting. You can listen to the audio here: https://youtu.be/koNnAU6riC0

MIKE RAY: If you are a member than you are welcome to attend this meeting -that's what we announced. This is family business - or if at one time you were that's fine too.

When I moved here 34 years ago I had 
one goal in mind to reach a city for Christ
that was it.

I left everybody I knew to move here

My parents were weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth when they said goodbye to their little grandkids. 

I didn't know anybody. I didn't even speak the language here. I didn't know all the obscene gesture or all the cuss words until I moved here.

In four years I knocked on every door
in this city. I've been to every house. If you live in Napa - your house.

I'd go in alone to reach people. See, my goal was not to move here... let's just find out - if you've got saved, if I personally led you to Christ, please stand. If you've got saved in one of the church services here after I came, would you stand? 

If someone from this church led you to Christ would you stand?

What’s wrong with the rest of you guys?

*laughter*

Thank you, you may be seated thank you.

So, here’s the deal: Nine years ago, it was brought to my attention that our youth pastor, brother Eric, was engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a young lady in our church. 

They were both adults at this time - had she had been a minor I would have done what I have always done since we are mandatory reporters. I would call the police immediately file a report. Some of you have been in my office when I have made those hard phone calls.

I talked to Eric, sat down and said okay give me the whole story - you can't be changing the story every week - I need the whole story 

He gave me the whole deal, I called the young lady - I will not mention her name tonight - I said, alright what's the story?

I wasn't there. All I could do was go with what I was told. I went to the parents of the girl, said what do you want me to do?

He seemed repentant.

Do you want me to fire him?

Do you want him to stand up publicly and confess it to the church? 

Do you want the daughter to stand up publicly and confess it to the church?

If he confesses then everyone's going to wonder who the girl is.

I felt like he could be restored here.

I believed at that time according to Galatians 6:1, we could restore him after that meeting. 

I put Eric on a very short leash. I don't go around airing everyone's counseling in front of the whole church I've never done it. Some of you've been in my office who've had affairs *amens* we didn't announce it
to the whole church.

*amen*

Eric, for a season, was no longer in the forefront - though I didn't announce it.

You might say, Oh I don't remember that - but he was not even leading the choir at that time. 
Brother Jeffs was.

He did not teach Sunday school. He didn't travel. He had accountability on his phone. Counseling with his wife who said, I want to stick with him. Our narrowing was discussed and the counseling was very confidential.

Recently, however, this entire story has gotten out.

Some of the story is the same. Some has been enhanced.

So... he has lost his good name.

He has lost his credibility.

He can no longer be on staff.

Nor will he attend this church.

Nor will he serve in this church.

Say what you really want.

We have never swept minors sexual abuse under the rug.

There’s one post on the internet now by someone and they said something like this, when I was four years of age I lived in Napa I was molested and then it said I attended Hopewell Baptist Church.

It wasn't at the church

It was someone that had babysat them

Someone that hurt someone and then not long after that committed suicide.

That was never brought to me while that man was alive.

I apologize.

I sided on mercy

Hindsight's always 20/20 If I could go back and do some...

I just thought he could be restored.

I was informed recently about someone else having received some inappropriate text.

I had not heard that until this past week.

I got a phone call today from someone that said something else...

So, from henceforth we're gonna have some committees in our church it's going to be you see anything, or you think anything, you know anything - talk to them.


People will be very available to hear the story. You may have something else to add to this story.

We want to hear it. Document it. Write it all down there there may be things that come up about some of our members in the
future.

We want to deal with them - well those couple that we need to know

The Joneses, the Ritzes volunteer so far to help make up that committee.

The information you tell will be confidential. We’ll not share this information or publish it anywhere.

After the service tonight I could hang around a while until my body wears out. I will be at the front if you have any questions or something you feel is not... it's not totally ... 

I want you to see this personally for just a moment.

Psalms 84 it says, "who passing through the valley.”

I don't know if you feel it but I'm in the valley tonight... deep valley. 

My grandkids are.

My wife is.

My family.

You are.
Our church family is.

During COVID in the last four months, we’ve had the least amount of people saved in 
our church's history. 

It is turned down to almost nothing... more people are going to burn in hell.

We've got to get back at it.

We've got two choices tonight

We’ve got two choices

You can stay in this valley and for the rest of your life, say, man I gave up on God, I don't trust anybody...and I'll show them!  

I'll let everybody go to hell.
I'll never serve the Lord.

Or you can give thanks through that valley. 

There's more for all of us to do.

When I was in the hospital today I said,
Lord, I think you've got a few more things to do 
...and that's what I want to do.

There's people I want to reach.
...
no bus riders. no bus kids. nobody surrendering to preach.
You can pass through it.

You say, I'm going to stay right here. Talk about it the rest of my life. I guarantee you, I know people are hurt. People say things.

But if Jesus would have been talked about as much as we talked about everything else this week, the whole world would be saved.

While I pray, let me encourage you to go through the valley. Go through it.

Is it gonna be easy for us? No.

A lot of years ago, someone got drunk, you’re trying to help them, they got help. But the whole world didn't know. Now everybody knows everything.

There’s something wrong.

Satan hates our church, he hates our church's name.

This has been a gospel station all these years. I'd like to stop it in its tracks.

It might stop you.

I want you to meditate on that passing through the valley.

We’ve got to get through this.

How long is it going to last? Years.

How long is it going to hurt? Rest of your life.

How long are you going to cry? Probably, if you are like me, every day.

How long are your kids gonna cry? Probably a lot.

It's been a hard season of my life.

Pray for me, for our family.

[[[PRAYING]]]

Father, bless this time...
we've got a great church with great people,
they love you.

People come to church with cancer, they come when their parents have cancer, buried their loved ones, many have broken hearts.

Some were so proud of their beating addictions - they are doing so good

...the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

Satan would love for a deadbolt to be on the doors and we turn into a bowling alley or dance hall...

goodnight...

please help us. Have mercy on us.

Thank You for grace.

Give courage to those that do need to come forward to tell someone ... this needs to be dealt with ...

In Jesus name, amen.

I'll be up here as long as I can stand.

Let’s get some music.

[Music]

AMBER ALVES (FORMER MEMBER): Are we serious? Okay what about ______________ who was molested by Eric as a minor? Anybody want to hear about that???

[Music volume increased]
By Eric Skwarczynski 02 Apr, 2023
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By Eric Skwarczynski 05 Sep, 2021
The texts read as follows: "Please consider the following Bible commentary and commandments related to sexual assault. Scripture: Genesis 39:7-21 What MUST we do when someone makes unwanted sexual advances? 1. Joseph Refused 2. Joseph RESISTED 3. Joseph RAN. 4. Potiphars wife CRIED OUT. See Deuteronomy 22:23-27. Look at Jn. 8 For Jesus’s application in the NT. Note also that this was before Moses received the law. Common sense and human conscience tells us that this is proper. 5. Potiphars wife had EVIDENCE. A coat. 6. Potiphars wife REPORTED the attempt the SAME DAY. She told her husband when he came home from work. 7. Potiphar Went to the POLICE! Immediately. If someone knows to do good and does not do it then they have SINNED. This summarizes a message I intended to bring to our church family but have not been allowed to deliver. Summary: People accuse pastors of covering sin when they themselves did not follow the Biblical Instruction in Genesis 39. I have two other studies on this subject. The passages and topics are as follows: 1st. Pastors are not Policemen. Go to the police immediately to report a Crime! Go to your pastor for Comfort! Study Romans 13:1-6. 2nd. What Sins ought to be covered> See 1 Peter 4:8. Please pass this on to anyone and everyone possible! It’s time to unsheath the sword of the Word of God which is the sword of the Spirit. I should have asked for a copy of the police report when people came with accusations. I was asked to be a detective. Never again.

If you have a car stolen who should you call? Call the police. If you have someone breaking into your home who do you call? Not your pastor. He does not bear that sword of justice. It belongs to civil authority! If you were assaulted or molested and did not report it to Gods other ministers as taught in Romans 13 your car or house is evidently more important than the well-being of your family member. Who has done the cover up?

Please distribute this as widely as possible for the truths sake!!" *A little while later, Kingsbury sent another text*

 "Don’t bother sending it to anyone. Thanks."
By Eric Skwarczynski 27 Jun, 2021
I know what you're thinking... "Oh great, another guy offering his unsolicited takes on purity culture. Just what the world needs." You're probably not off-base for feeling like that. The staggering amount of opinions swirling around the internet right now in the wake of the Southern Baptist Convention Annual Meeting and, especially the now-deleted Matthew West song, Modest is Hottest are exhausting. But if you can find the patience within yourself, please hear me out, I won't be long. I got the less painful side of purity culture. All men do. That's just the truth. It's equally toxic (more on that in a minute), but it's less painful. The majority of the shame, extreme restrictions, and hurtful rhetoric tends to fall on the shoulders of young women. The same women, no doubt, who have been raising their voices to share their rightful hurt after watching Modest is Hottest and seeing it warmly received by many of their fellow Christians. On the surface, it's easy to miss why purity culture and the Christian conversation is, in fact, so toxic. It began, no doubt, in the minds of well-intentioned parents and pastors. It has been shared and developed by well-intentioned Christian authors. It even had a song written about it by a well-intentioned Christian musician that has been shared by well-intentioned Christian fans. But good intentions do not mean good results. As they say, the road to hell is paved with them. One could write a book on the reasons that purity culture and the church's teachings on sex and modesty misses the mark. In fact, several great books have been. I'd recommend those interested to read The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Gregoire, Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Welcher, Prey Tell by Tiffany Bluhm, or Recovering From Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by Aimee Byrd for a start. If you're not a reader, you can watch an interview like this one with Rachel Welcher.
By Eric Skwarczynski 26 Jan, 2021
The quote above represents just one of the gut-punching passages within Prey Tell , written by Tiffany Bluhm. The new book – releasing in March 2021 from Brazos Press – “explores the dynamics of power and lack of accountability that occur within many organizational contexts and encourages women and men to speak out in the face of unjust systems.” (Publisher’s Summary) Prey Tell is undeniably well-researched, but it also comes from personal experience. In the opening chapter, Bluhm recounts the terror of spotting her sexual abuser in public – the person she spent so long trying to avoid entirely – as well as the racially-charged mistreatment she experienced as an adopted child from East India.
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By Eric Skwarczynski 15 Dec, 2020
By Eric Skwarczynski 03 Dec, 2020
As most of you have seen, I had planned to lead a peaceful gathering of survivors at North Valley Baptist Church in Santa Clara, CA. The event was scheduled for January. After an immense amount of time and thought weighing it out, I’m making the decision to cancel the event. Sincerely, I can say that the motivation behind the event was a positive one. I know the motivation of those attending was also positive. The goal of the rally - like everything I do with the Preacher Boys Podcast - is to try to shed light on abuse, give a voice to survivors, and spark helpful conversations. My reason for cancelling comes from that same place. While there are extremely valid arguments that need to be made, and discussions about NVBC and other fundamentalist institutions that need to be had, I don’t feel comfortable about this particular forum for a few reasons. 1. Context is a crucial element for productive conversations. I try to be very careful not to place myself or others in situations where words can be taken out of context, misconstrued, or ideas can be misrepresented. I do not feel comfortable with the fact that anyone could take a picture of the peaceful gathering and position it as a riot, bitter people screaming at NVBC attendees, or people who hate church on some vendetta. Not one of these things are true, and I don’t want to give people the chance to say that they are. 2. Optics matter. I have been accused of attacking the Church at large, as well as Christianity and local churches broadly. The reality is, I am a strong believer myself. As such, I unashamedly love my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Church. I'm thankful for the reality of the Gospel and the truth of God's Word. As I mentioned in the first point, I don't wish to give others the opportunity to say that this is a full-fledged attack on the Christian religion in it's entirety. Nor do I want to give the signal to pastors that I am going to show up on their sidewalk with a picket sign the minute there is a disagreement. There are people within North Valley Baptist Church and congregants and staff in churches like it who are reaching out for help and guidance, many on the brink of leaving and finding healthier ministries. I don’t want to put those good transitions in jeopardy by giving the vibe that we are exactly how we will be inevitably presented to be. I don’t want to confirm isn’t the minds of those in the congregation that my goal is to persecute the Church at large. My goal is to help good people get out of bad situations. 3. COVID restrictions. COVID rates are on the rise in California right now, and even many within my family have contracted the virus. I also recently lost someone due to the disease. I don’t want to put risk on anyone, and also, want to respect the current mandates and CDC recommendations. Conclusion I feel like the potential cons of this largely outweigh any potential positive. For the sake of the cause at large, I need to take precautions to be - for lack of a better term - above reproach. I still want to project the truth as loudly as possible, but I want to do it in a way that is defensible against scrutiny or misrepresentation. For that reason, I don’t feel comfortable attaching the protest to the Preacher Boys Podcast at this time. I know that there might be disagreement with me, but I truly feel this is the best decision.
By Eric Skwarczynski 17 Oct, 2020
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EDITOR'S NOTE: The information in this article was made available by Jonathan Grisham Burchfield, creator of Stop Pastoral Abuse. ( https://www.facebook.com/stoppingpastoralabuse ) TRIGGER WARNING: The following article contains descriptions as of sexual, and mental abuse toward minors, and one photographic piece of evidence of child abuse and neglect.
Protester Holds Sign
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