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They Don't Look Like Monsters: How Pedophiles Hide in the Church

Eric Skwarczynski • Apr 20, 2020

"We think sex offenders are monsters and surely we would recognize a monster, wouldn't we?"

These words come from the introduction of Anna C. Salter's book, Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders.

The paragraph surrounding it jumped off the page to me, and it was incredibly powerful in light of the work I have been doing to expose abuse taking place specifically within Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches.
"Sex offenders only very rarely sneak into a house in the middle of the night. More often they come through the front door in the day, as friends and neighbors, as Boy Scout leaders, priests, principals, teachers, doctors, and coaches. They are invited into our homes time after time, and we give them permission to take our children on the overnight camping trips, the basketball game, or down to the Salvation Army post for youth activities.

We give permission because we don't recognize these people as predators, because we think sex offenders are monsters and surely we would recognize a monster, wouldn't we? That nice young minister who runs all the youth programs, the one with the crooked smile and the thatch of brown hair over his brow, the one who visits the elderly and gives the poor money from his own funds – surely not him. He could not be a child molester with ninety victims while he's still in his twenties. That good-looking, polite young man who just wants to see the motorcycle for sale in the back yard. Surely he couldn't be a rapist with a knife in his hip pocket waiting for you to turn your back to pull the cover off."
The reality is indeed scarier than any fictional monster Hollywood could come up with. Horror director, George A. Romero, once famously said, “I’ve always felt that the real horror is next door to us, that the scariest monsters are our neighbors."

We don't want to believe that the evangelist standing behind the pulpit could be a predator, or that the Christian school basketball coach is a rapist, or that the friendly bus captain has ulterior motives – but we have to be aware of that possibility.

Like any animal, human predators often disguise themselves. Blending into the surroundings and awaiting the right time. The only difference is that their camouflage might be a suit and tie or neatly combed hair. 
This is why it's somewhat understandable why so many refuse to believe allegations made against someone within the IFB. 

"How could I have been duped?"

"If they're so wicked, why do they spend so much on missions each year?"

"I almost sent my daughter to his college, I did my research and would have noticed if something was wrong."

No one wants to believe that they fell for a predators disguise, and, more importantly, they don't want to believe that a predator could even exist within their separated, safe, righteous, religious bubble.

With the nature of my work exposing abuse within the IFB movement, I've been met with objections just like this.
The truth is, you don't need to feel ashamed or guilty that you didn't personally identify something wrong. No one else did either. That's how so many predators often slip by undetected for so long.
Just don't let your pride or shock keep you in that space. Instead, reflect on the situation. What can you learn?

In retrospect, what signs WERE there that something wasn't right? Did the person have any unique traits or actions that you might look out for moving forward? 

I am NOT saying that everyone who shares any trait with someone who was found guilty is guilty – do NOT misunderstand me. Do not make major assumptions based on a tic you picked up on or a weird gut feeling you had. I'm simply saying to be vigilant and QUESTION your environment and the people in it beyond face value. 

Furthermore, take compassion on the victim. They fell for the same disguise or trap as you – only they were met with physical harm. Not because they were dumb, or gullible, or "asking for it." 

Monsters almost never look like monsters. 
By Eric Skwarczynski 02 Apr, 2023
Dr. Steve Pettit – president of Bob Jones University – a fundamentalist college in South Carolina, resigned on March 31, 2023.
By Eric Skwarczynski 05 Sep, 2021
The texts read as follows: "Please consider the following Bible commentary and commandments related to sexual assault. Scripture: Genesis 39:7-21 What MUST we do when someone makes unwanted sexual advances? 1. Joseph Refused 2. Joseph RESISTED 3. Joseph RAN. 4. Potiphars wife CRIED OUT. See Deuteronomy 22:23-27. Look at Jn. 8 For Jesus’s application in the NT. Note also that this was before Moses received the law. Common sense and human conscience tells us that this is proper. 5. Potiphars wife had EVIDENCE. A coat. 6. Potiphars wife REPORTED the attempt the SAME DAY. She told her husband when he came home from work. 7. Potiphar Went to the POLICE! Immediately. If someone knows to do good and does not do it then they have SINNED. This summarizes a message I intended to bring to our church family but have not been allowed to deliver. Summary: People accuse pastors of covering sin when they themselves did not follow the Biblical Instruction in Genesis 39. I have two other studies on this subject. The passages and topics are as follows: 1st. Pastors are not Policemen. Go to the police immediately to report a Crime! Go to your pastor for Comfort! Study Romans 13:1-6. 2nd. What Sins ought to be covered> See 1 Peter 4:8. Please pass this on to anyone and everyone possible! It’s time to unsheath the sword of the Word of God which is the sword of the Spirit. I should have asked for a copy of the police report when people came with accusations. I was asked to be a detective. Never again.

If you have a car stolen who should you call? Call the police. If you have someone breaking into your home who do you call? Not your pastor. He does not bear that sword of justice. It belongs to civil authority! If you were assaulted or molested and did not report it to Gods other ministers as taught in Romans 13 your car or house is evidently more important than the well-being of your family member. Who has done the cover up?

Please distribute this as widely as possible for the truths sake!!" *A little while later, Kingsbury sent another text*

 "Don’t bother sending it to anyone. Thanks."
By Eric Skwarczynski 27 Jun, 2021
I know what you're thinking... "Oh great, another guy offering his unsolicited takes on purity culture. Just what the world needs." You're probably not off-base for feeling like that. The staggering amount of opinions swirling around the internet right now in the wake of the Southern Baptist Convention Annual Meeting and, especially the now-deleted Matthew West song, Modest is Hottest are exhausting. But if you can find the patience within yourself, please hear me out, I won't be long. I got the less painful side of purity culture. All men do. That's just the truth. It's equally toxic (more on that in a minute), but it's less painful. The majority of the shame, extreme restrictions, and hurtful rhetoric tends to fall on the shoulders of young women. The same women, no doubt, who have been raising their voices to share their rightful hurt after watching Modest is Hottest and seeing it warmly received by many of their fellow Christians. On the surface, it's easy to miss why purity culture and the Christian conversation is, in fact, so toxic. It began, no doubt, in the minds of well-intentioned parents and pastors. It has been shared and developed by well-intentioned Christian authors. It even had a song written about it by a well-intentioned Christian musician that has been shared by well-intentioned Christian fans. But good intentions do not mean good results. As they say, the road to hell is paved with them. One could write a book on the reasons that purity culture and the church's teachings on sex and modesty misses the mark. In fact, several great books have been. I'd recommend those interested to read The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Gregoire, Talking Back to Purity Culture by Rachel Welcher, Prey Tell by Tiffany Bluhm, or Recovering From Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by Aimee Byrd for a start. If you're not a reader, you can watch an interview like this one with Rachel Welcher.
By Eric Skwarczynski 26 Jan, 2021
The quote above represents just one of the gut-punching passages within Prey Tell , written by Tiffany Bluhm. The new book – releasing in March 2021 from Brazos Press – “explores the dynamics of power and lack of accountability that occur within many organizational contexts and encourages women and men to speak out in the face of unjust systems.” (Publisher’s Summary) Prey Tell is undeniably well-researched, but it also comes from personal experience. In the opening chapter, Bluhm recounts the terror of spotting her sexual abuser in public – the person she spent so long trying to avoid entirely – as well as the racially-charged mistreatment she experienced as an adopted child from East India.
By Eric Skwarczynski 17 Jan, 2021
IFB Sermon Clips on Twitter retweeted clip, confirming the identity. Cavanaugh's bio on Bethel Baptist's website reads: "Since graduating from Providence Baptist College in 2009, Bro Cavanaugh has served in several different ministries including: traveling with Dr. Dennis Corle and Revival Fires, starting a church in Nigeria with Missionary Mark Holmes, and traveling and serving as Camp Evangelist at Cedar River Baptist Camp. Bro. Cavanaugh joined our staff in 2017 and serves as the Bus Director, Dean of Students, and teaches the Faith Builders Sunday school class. He is married to Leah, and they have three boys – Marcus, James and Nicholas." It is notable that the founder and president of Providence Baptist College, has a history of inflammatory political rhetoric.
By Eric Skwarczynski 15 Dec, 2020
By Eric Skwarczynski 03 Dec, 2020
As most of you have seen, I had planned to lead a peaceful gathering of survivors at North Valley Baptist Church in Santa Clara, CA. The event was scheduled for January. After an immense amount of time and thought weighing it out, I’m making the decision to cancel the event. Sincerely, I can say that the motivation behind the event was a positive one. I know the motivation of those attending was also positive. The goal of the rally - like everything I do with the Preacher Boys Podcast - is to try to shed light on abuse, give a voice to survivors, and spark helpful conversations. My reason for cancelling comes from that same place. While there are extremely valid arguments that need to be made, and discussions about NVBC and other fundamentalist institutions that need to be had, I don’t feel comfortable about this particular forum for a few reasons. 1. Context is a crucial element for productive conversations. I try to be very careful not to place myself or others in situations where words can be taken out of context, misconstrued, or ideas can be misrepresented. I do not feel comfortable with the fact that anyone could take a picture of the peaceful gathering and position it as a riot, bitter people screaming at NVBC attendees, or people who hate church on some vendetta. Not one of these things are true, and I don’t want to give people the chance to say that they are. 2. Optics matter. I have been accused of attacking the Church at large, as well as Christianity and local churches broadly. The reality is, I am a strong believer myself. As such, I unashamedly love my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Church. I'm thankful for the reality of the Gospel and the truth of God's Word. As I mentioned in the first point, I don't wish to give others the opportunity to say that this is a full-fledged attack on the Christian religion in it's entirety. Nor do I want to give the signal to pastors that I am going to show up on their sidewalk with a picket sign the minute there is a disagreement. There are people within North Valley Baptist Church and congregants and staff in churches like it who are reaching out for help and guidance, many on the brink of leaving and finding healthier ministries. I don’t want to put those good transitions in jeopardy by giving the vibe that we are exactly how we will be inevitably presented to be. I don’t want to confirm isn’t the minds of those in the congregation that my goal is to persecute the Church at large. My goal is to help good people get out of bad situations. 3. COVID restrictions. COVID rates are on the rise in California right now, and even many within my family have contracted the virus. I also recently lost someone due to the disease. I don’t want to put risk on anyone, and also, want to respect the current mandates and CDC recommendations. Conclusion I feel like the potential cons of this largely outweigh any potential positive. For the sake of the cause at large, I need to take precautions to be - for lack of a better term - above reproach. I still want to project the truth as loudly as possible, but I want to do it in a way that is defensible against scrutiny or misrepresentation. For that reason, I don’t feel comfortable attaching the protest to the Preacher Boys Podcast at this time. I know that there might be disagreement with me, but I truly feel this is the best decision.
By Eric Skwarczynski 17 Oct, 2020
In 2013, Jack Schaap, 62, pleaded guilty to taking a 16-year-old girl he was counseling at First Baptist across state lines for sex. Jack's guilty plea apparently wasn't enough to lose the favor of his devoted followers. 140 letters – written by family, staff, and parishioners – were submitted as exhibits to be reviewed by the judge as he carried out sentencing. They pleaded for lenient sentencing.
12 Oct, 2020
EDITOR'S NOTE: The information in this article was made available by Jonathan Grisham Burchfield, creator of Stop Pastoral Abuse. ( https://www.facebook.com/stoppingpastoralabuse ) TRIGGER WARNING: The following article contains descriptions as of sexual, and mental abuse toward minors, and one photographic piece of evidence of child abuse and neglect.
Protester Holds Sign
By Eric Skwarczynski 12 Oct, 2020
Protester at Paris Hilton's peaceful march at Provo Canyon School holds a sign that reads, "The Kids You Abuse Today Will Be the Ones Who Take You Down Tomorrow.:"
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